Episode 499.b Bubble Guppies: Oona the Musical! (Part 2)

Plot
An extraordinary little girl named Oona decides that despite a bad beginning filled with rotten parents, a terrifying school and a vicious head mistress, her story is going to be an astonishing one. With the help of her teacher, her friends and a little bit of imagination, Oona proves that even if she's little, she can do big things.

Cast

 * Oona as (Matilda)
 * Mr. Shaskan as (Mr. Wormwood)
 * Mrs. Shaskan as (Mrs. Wormwood)
 * The Witch as (Miss Trunchbull)
 * Mrs. Grouper as (Miss Honey)
 * Deema as (Lavender)
 * The Color Monster as (Henchman)
 * Sandy as (Acrobat)
 * Ms. Duey as (Miss Phelps)
 * Nonny as (Nigel)
 * Molly as (Alice)
 * One of Sandy's Sisters as (Henchwoman)
 * Goofin as (Micheal)
 * Gil as (Bruce Bogtrotter)
 * Tobias as (Tommy)
 * Goby as (Eric)
 * Jimberly as (Amanda Thripp)
 * Ashlie as (Hortensia)
 * Cook Crab as (Cook)
 * Archaeologist as (Escapologist)
 * Mr. Grumpfish as (Rudolpho)
 * Mr. Grouper as (Children's Entertainer)
 * Ringmaster as (Sergei)
 * Dr. Clark as (Doctor)

Information

 * Genres: Comedy, Fantasy, Musical
 * Rating: PG for some violence, a bit of curse words, and some scary scenes.
 * Type of film: Fantasy, Comedy, Musical

Trivia

 * This is based on the 2011 West End musical "Matilda the Musical!" You can read about it on Wikipedia.
 * There are both regular and fanon characters in this story.

Story
Start of Part 2.

(Scene: Library)

(A goldfish lady is browsing the stacks. A librarian snail enters.)

Librarian Snail: Oona! What a pleasure to see you. Here in the library again, are we?

Oona: Yes. I mean, my mum wanted me to stay at home with her. She hates it when I go out. She misses me so much. Dad too. He loves having me around. But I think it's good for grown-ups to have their own space.

Librarian Snail: Your parents must be so proud to have a girl as clever as you. And do you tell them lots of stories like you do with me? I love your stories, Oona! And that's not a hint, by the way. But if you did happen to have a story you wanted to tell –

Goldfish Lady: Good-bye, Ms. Duey. See you next week.

Ms. Duey: Good-bye, Mrs. Grouper And good luck with the Tolstoy.

(Mrs. Grouper laughs and exits the library.)

Ms. Duey: As I was saying, Oona. I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted –

Oona: Who was that?

Ms. Duey: That lady? That was Mrs. Grouper. She's going to be your teacher.

Oona: That lady? That lady is my –

Ms. Duey: Yes, your teacher. Now, look. Are you going to tell me a story or not?

Oona: Once upon a time –

(Ms. Duey screams and exits. She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. She puts down the large block and Oona stands on it. Ms. Duey retreats to the smaller block and sits down.)

Oona: Once upon a time, the two greatest circus performers in the world – an archaeologist who could escape from any lock that was ever invented, and a woman called Sandy who was so skilled it seemed as if she could actually fly – fell in love, and got married. They performed some of the most incredible feats together anyone has ever seen. And people would come from miles around: kings, queens, celebrities, and astronauts! But not just to see their skill, but also to see their love for each other, which was so deep that it was said that cats would purr as they passed them, and dogs would weep with joy.

(A model of a grand old house rolls in.)

Oona: They moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! Tricks!" and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. But although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad.

(Oona collects two dolls from the house. She uses them to carry on a conversation.)

Sandy: We have everything. ..

Oona: "We have everything that the world has to offer," said Sandy.

Archaeologist: We have everything. ..

Oona: "But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most."

Sandy and Archaeologist: But the one thing. ..

Oona: "We do not have a child."

Archaeologist: Patience, my love.

Oona: "Patience, my love," the husband replied. "Time is on our side. Even time loves us."

Ms. Duey: Oh, Oona!

Oona: But time is the one thing no one is master of. And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing.

Ms. Duey: Oh, Oona, this is very sad!

Oona: Do you want me to stop?

Ms. Duey: Don't you dare!

Oona: Their sadness overwhelmed them, and drew them into ever more dangerous feats, as their work became the only place they could escape the inescapable tragedy of their lives! And so it was, they decided to perform the most dangerous feat ever known to man! "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath –

(The voice of the Archaeologist echoes her words.)

Oona: "'The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage', and it is the most dangerous feat ever known to man!

(A crowd cheers.)

Oona and Sandy: "It is our destiny – "

Oona: – said Sandy, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his.

Oona and Sandy: "It is where the loneliness of life has led us."

(Oona pauses for several moments, holding the dolls in front of her contemplatively.)

Ms. Duey: Well, what happens?!

Oona: I. . . I don't know. Not yet, anyway.

Ms. Duey: What? But I. . . Isn't there some more? I mean. . . Well, I suppose your mother will be waiting for you. Is she here? I'd love to meet her, actually –

(Oona grabs her books and runs out.)

Oona: Bye, Ms. Duey! See you tomorrow!

Ms. Duey: After your first day of school!

(Ms. Duey exits as a siren wails.)

(Scene: Crunchem Hall Academy)

(Oona's classmates enter hesitantly in front of a large iron gate made of square holes of various sizes.)

Nonny: My mummy says I'm a miracle. ..

Tobias: My daddy says I'm his special little. . . guy. ..

Deema: I am a princess. ..

Goby: And I am a prince. ..

(Big kids enter menacingly behind the gate.)

Molly: Mum says I'm an angel. ..

Jimberly: Mum says I'm an angel. ..

Nonny: Mum says I'm an angel. ..

(Big kids approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the children from behind it.)

Big Kids: (singing) And so you think you're able to survive this mess by being a prince or a princess. You will soon see there's no escaping tragedy. And even if you put in heaps of effort, you're just wasting energy, 'cause your life as you know it is ancient history. I have suffered in this jail. Have been trapped inside this cage for ages, this living 'ell. But if I try I can remember, back before my life had ended, before my happy days were over, before I first heard the pealing of the bell. Like you, I was curious, so innocent I asked a thousand questions. But unless you want to suffer, listen up and I will teach you a thing or two. You listen here, my dear, you'll be punished so severely if you step out of line. And if you cry it will be double. You should stay out of trouble and remember to be extremely careful.

Nonny: Why?

Big Kids: (singing) Why?

Ribbaz: Why? Did you hear what he said?

Big Kids: (singing) Just you wait for phys-ed!

Children: What's phys-ed?

Big Kids: Physical education!

Ribbaz: It's the Witch's speciality.

(The children reach out from behind the gate as the big kids carry them away.)

Molly: (singing) My mummy says I'm a miracle. Ahh!

Gil: (singing) My daddy says I would be the teacher's pet! Ahh!

Deema: (singing) School is really fun, according to my mum. Ahh!

Jimberly and Goby: (singing) Dad said I'd learn the alphabet!

Ribbaz: The alphabet? You've gotta learn to listen up, kid.

(Two big kids start climbing on the gate, flanking alphabet blocks as they are pushed through the gate when they are mentioned in the song.)

Older Kids: (singing) And so you think you're A-ble to survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. And Even if you put in heaps of eFfort, you're just wasting enerGy, 'cause your life as you know it is "aitcH"-ent history. I have suffered in this Jail, I've been trapped inside this (K) cage for ages, this living 'eLl. But if I try I can remeMber, back before my life had eNded, before my happy days were Over, before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. Like you, I was (Q) curious, so innocent I (R) asked a thousand questions, but unleSs you want to suffer, listen up and I will Teach you a thing or two. YoU listen here, my dear, you'll be punished so seVerely if you step out of line. And if you cry it will be (W) double. You should stay out of trouble, and remember to be eXtremely careful.

Nonny: WhY?

Big Kids: (singing) Why?

Ribbaz: Why? Why? Did you hear what we said?

(The school bell rings and the big kids and the children rush inside.)

(Scene: Classroom)

(The children are pushed inside a classroom with desks and a blackboard. Upon the blackboard is written the alphabet.)

Big Kids: (singing) Just you wait for phys-ed! Just you wait for phys-ed.

Big Kids and Children: (singing) A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X.

Children: (singing) Why, why, why, why, why, why, why?

Big Kids: (singing) Just you wait for phy-Zed!

(The big kids exit to go to their classrooms and Mrs. Grouper enters.)

Mrs. Grouper: Good morning, children! My name is Mrs. Grouper. And today is a very special day: your first day of school! Now, do any of you know any of your two times tables?

(Oona raises her hand.)

Mrs. Grouper: Wonderful. Oona, isn't it? Please, stand, and do as much as you can.

Oona: One times two is two. Two times two is four. Three times two is six. Four times two is eight. Five times two is ten. Six times two is twelve. Seven times two is fourteen. Eight times two is sixteen. Nine times two is eighteen. Ten times two is twenty. Eleven times two is twenty-two. Twelve times two is twenty-four.

Mrs. Grouper: Well, my word. ..

Oona: Thirteen times two is twenty-six. Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. Fifteen times two is thirty. Sixteen times two is thirty-two.

Mrs. Grouper: Stop. Stop! Good heavens. How far can you go?

Oona: I don't know. Quite a long way, I think.

Mrs. Grouper: Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is?

Oona: Fifty-six.

Mrs. Grouper: Yes. Yes! That is v–. . . How about this. Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. Two times. . . four hundred and eighty-seven. If you took your time –

Oona: Nine hundred and seventy-four.

Mrs. Grouper: Twelve sevens?

Oona: Eighty-four.

Children: No way!

(They start chattering.)

Mrs. Grouper: Let's leave maths for the time being. . . and look at reading. Now, can anyone read this?

(She underlines the sentence on the board. Oona, Deema, and Nonny raise their hands.)

Nonny: Ooh, me, me, me, miss! I can! Me, me, me, me.

Mrs. Grouper: Very well. Nonny.

(Nonny leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. He screams and turns around, hitting Goby's cap against Goby's desk. He bites the cap, screaming through his teeth. Mrs. Grouper hurries to pull the cap from Nonny's mouth.)

Mrs. Grouper: Okay. Yes, yes. I think we'd better leave it there, Nonny. We don't want to burst a blood vessel on your first day. Deema?

Deema: Is the first word. . . "tomato"?

Mrs. Grouper: No. But the "tomato" is a very good word.

Deema: Yesss!

Mrs. Grouper: Oona?

Oona: "I can now read words."

Mrs. Grouper: So, Oona. You can read words.

Oona: Yes. Well, I needed to learn to read words so that I could read sentences. Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. And if you can't read sentences, you've got no chance with books.

(Mrs. Grouper beckons Oona to the back of the class.)

Mrs. Grouper: And. . . have you read a whole book? Yourself, Oona?

Oona: Oh, yes. More than one. I love books. Last week, I read quite a few.

Mrs. Grouper: A few! In. . . in. . . in a week. My, my, that is good. Er, what books did you read?

Oona: Nicholas Nickleby. . . Oliver Twist. . . Jane Eyre. . . Tess of the D'urbervilles. . . The Lord of the Rings. . . Kim. . . The Invisible Man. . . The Secret Garden. . . Crime and Punishment. . . and. . . Cat in the Hat!

(The school bell rings and all the children march out. Mrs. Grouper walks out too.)

(Scene: Corridor)

(Mrs. Grouper walks along to the corridor. She gets to the office door where a label on it says "Agatha Witch's Office." She is about to knock on the door but she feels nervous and sings.)

Mrs. Grouper: (singing) Knock on the door, Jenny. Just knock on the door. Don't be pathetic! Knock on the door, Jenny. There's nothing to fear. You're being pathetic! It's just a door. You've seen one before. Just knock on the door. Look at you trying to hide, silly. Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl. It's just pathetic! Oh! Right. Look at you hesitating. Hand's shaking. You should be embarrassed. You're not a little girl. It's just pathetic. Knock on the door, Jenny. What are you waiting for? Just knock on the door. . . Perhaps I'll wait. She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. If anything, caution in these situations is sensible. One should avoid confrontation when possible. I'll come back later, then. But this little girl. . . This miracle. . . Knock on the door, Jenny. Just knock on the door. Don't be pathetic!

(Mrs. Grouper knocks three times and winces.)

Voice: Enter!

(Mrs. Grouper opens the door and walks in.)

End of Part 2.