Episode 142a (The Little Shop Of Horrors)

Narrator: "On the 23rd day of the month of September...in an early year of a decade not too long before our own...the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence. And this terrifying enemy surfaced,as such enemies often do...in the semmingly most innocent and unlikely of places."

(Song: Little Shop Of Horrors)

Lobster Girls: "Little shop,little shoppa horrors. Little shop,little shoppa terror. Call a cop. Little shoppa horrors. No,oh,oh,no-oh! Little shop,little shoppa horrors. Bop sh'bop,little shoppa terror. Watch 'em drop! Little shoppa horrors. No,oh,oh,no-oh! Shing-a-ling,what a creepy thing to be happening! Shang-a-lang,feel the sturm and drang in the air. Sha-la-la,stop right where you are. Don't you move a thing. You better. You better. Tellin' you,you better. Tell your mama,something gonna get 'er. She better. Everybody better. Beware!"

Ronnette: "Come-a,come-a,come-a."

Lobster Girls: "Little shop,little shoppa horrors. Bop sh-bop,you'll never stop the terror. Little shop,little shoppa horrors. No,oh,oh,no,oh,oh,no,oh,oh,no!"

(Song ends)

Gil was trying to organize things on the shelf when the shelf falls on him. After that came a crash.

Mr Grouper:(shouts)"Gil,what's going on down there?"

Gil: "Very little,Mr Grouper!"

Gil gets up and dusts himself off and puts the radio on. He starts cleaning up his mess.

Radio: "...and at his press conference today,President Kennedy fielded questions...concerning last Thursday's total eclipse of the sun...an astrological phenomenon which had baffled the nation."

Molly enters.

Mr Grouper: "Ah,so she finally decides to come to work!"

Molly: "Oh,good morning,Mr Grouper."

Mr Grouper: "What morning? It's almost closing time. Not that we had a customer."(sighs)

Crash!

Mr Grouper: "Gil,what in the world is going on down there? Molly,would you go down and see what's he-"(notices Molly's black eye)"Where did you get that shiner?"

Molly: "Oh,uh,shiner?"

Mr Grouper: "Molly,that greasy boyfriend of yours is beating up on you again? Look,I know it's none of my business...but I'm beginning to think maybe he's not such a nice boy."

Gil: "I got these pots unloaded for you,Mr-"

Gil falls and the pots crashed to the floor.

Mr Grouper: "Gil,look what you've done to the inventory!"

Molly:(staring at Gil)"Don't yell at Gil,Mr Grouper."

Gil: "Hi Molly,you look radiant today. Is that new eye make-up?"

Molly: "Oh! I'll help him clean it up before any of the customers get here."

Mr Grouper: "That should give you plenty of time. Oh,man,what an existence I got! Misfit employees,bums on the sidewalk...business is lousy. My life is boring!"(notices Lobster Girls outside the shop)"Hey,you. Girls! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Move! Move! Move! Go away! No loitering!"

Ronette: "Man! I wasn't loitering. Were you,Crystal?"

Crystal: "Not me,Ronette. Were you,Chiffon?"

Mr Grouper: "You ought to be in school!"

Chiffon: "Yeah! Well,we were on a split shift."

Ronette: "Right! We went to school until fifth grade,then we split."

Mr Grouper: "So? How do you intend to better yourselves?"

Crystal: "Better ourselves? You hear what he said? Better ourselves? Mister,when you're from Skid Row ain't no such thing."

(Song: Skid Row)

Crab: "Alarm goes off at seven,and you start-up town. You put in your eight hours,for the powers,that have always been.(Sing it child) Til it's five pm..."

Trash Can: "Then you go..."

Company: "Downtown. Where the folks are broke. You go downtown. Where your life's a joke. You go downtown. Where you buy a token. You go...home to Skid Row. Downtown. Where the folks are broke. You go downtown. Where your life's a joke. You go downtown. Where you buy a token. You go...home to Skid Row."

Trash Can: "Yes you go..."

Company: "Downtown. Where the cabs don't stop. Downtown. Where the food is slop. Downtown. Where the hop-heads flop in the snow...down on Skid Row. Uptown you cater to a million jerks. Uptown you're messengers and mailroom clerks. Eating all your lunches at the hot-dog carts. The bosses take you money and they break your hearts.(Men:Ohhhh)And uptown you cater to a million whores. You disinfect terrazzo on their bathroom floors. The jobs are really menial you make no bread. And then at five-o'clock you head-"

Trash Can: "By subway..."

Downtown.

Molly: "Where the guys are drips."

Downtown.

Molly: "Where they rip your slips."

Downtown.

Molly: "Where relationships are no go! Down on Skid Row."

Gil: "Poor,all my life I've always been poor. I keep askin' man what I'm for. And he tells me,'Gee,I'm not sure'.'Sweep that floor,kid!'. Oh! I started life with my family,a child street-free,here on Skid Row! He took me in gave me shelter. A bed,crust of bread and a job. Treats me like dirt and calls me a slob,which I am...so I live..."

Downtown.

Gil: "That' your home address,you live-"

Downtown.

Gil: "When your life's a mess,you live-"

Downtown.

Gil: "Where depression's just status quo.

Down on Skid Row.

Gil: "Someone show a way to get outta here."

Molly: "Cause I constantly play I'll get outta here."

Gil: "Please won't somebody say I'll get outta here.

Both: "Someone gimmie my shot,or I'll rot here!"