Episode 540.e Bubble Guppies: Nonny Pirruccello and the Half-Blood Prince! (Part 5)

Plot
In the sixth year at Bubblewarts School of Witchcraft, and in both wizard and muggle worlds Lord Rotten Tomato and his henchmen are increasingly active. With vacancies to fill at Bubblewarts, Mr. Grouper persuades Arctic Dan, back from retirement to become the potions teacher, while Mr. Grumpfish receives long awaited news. Nonny Pirruccello, together with Mr. Grouper, must face treacherous tasks to defeat his evil nemesis.

Cast (Characters from the real movie)

 * Nonny as (Harry Potter)
 * Gil as (Ron Weasley)
 * Molly as (Hermione Granger)
 * Tobias as (Draco Malfoy)
 * Mr. Grumpfish as (Professor Severus Snape)
 * Arctic Dan as (Professor Horace Slughorn)
 * Oona as (Ginny Weasley)
 * Pablo as (Fred Weasley)
 * Brett as (George Weasley)
 * Mrs. Gordon as (Molly Weasley)
 * Mr. Gordon as (Arthur Weasley)
 * Sir Mulligan as (Remus Lupin)
 * Deema as (Luna Lovegood)
 * Limbite as (Narcissa Malfoy)
 * Witch as (Bellatrix Lestrange)
 * The Night Wizard as (Fenrir Greyback)
 * Polar Bear as (Wormtail)
 * Mr. Grouper as (Professor Albus Dumbledore)
 * Goby as (Neville Longbottom)
 * Mrs. Grouper as (Professor Minerva McGonagall)
 * Pronto as (Professor Filius Flitwick)
 * Mr. Langoustine as (Rubeus Hagrid)
 * Crabs, Lobsters, and Snails as (Other characters)

Information

 * Genres: Adventure, Family, Fantasy.
 * Rating: PG for some violence, a little alcohol, and many scary scenes.
 * Type of film: Fantasy.

Trivia

 * This is based on the 2009 film "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince." You can read about it on Wikipedia or IMDb
 * There are regular and fanon characters. Some don't return in this movie while there are new characters too.
 * This is the sequel to "Nonny Pirruccello and the Order of the Phoenix!" This story takes place a year after the fifth story.

Story
Start of Part 5.

(Scene: Dark Corridor)

(Voices are heard.)

Tobias (o.s.): Maybe I did hex that Shaskan girl. Maybe I didn’t. What’s it to you?

(Two silhouettes come into view -- Tobias, slumped against the wall in lazy insolence, and Mr. Grumpfish.)

Mr. Grumpfish: I swore to protect you. I made the Unbreakable Vow --

Tobias: I don’t need protection. I was chosen for this! Out of all others. Me! And I won’t fail him.

Mr. Grumpfish: You’re afraid, Tobias. You attempt to conceal it, but it’s obvious. Let me assist you --

Tobias: No! I was chosen. This is my moment!

(Tobias exits. Then Mr. Grumpfish. Nonny is revealed in an adjacent alcove. He’s heard all. A train is heard...)

(Scene: Bubblewarts Express)

(The Bubblewarts Express chugs through a snowy countryside. Gil lies on his back, while Nonny sits opposite, leafing through the Half-Blood Prince’s potions book.)

Gil: Unbreakable Vow. You’re sure that’s what Mr. Grumpfish said.

Nonny: Positive. Why?

Gil: It’s just, well, you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow.

Nonny: I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough.

Gil: No, you don’t understand -- Oh, bloody hell...

(Jessica stands outside the compartment door. Fogging the glass with her breath, she etches “Gil + Jess,” encircles it with a heart, mimes “I miss you,” and exits with a pout.)

Nonny: Lovely.

Gil: All she wants to do is snog me. My lips are getting chapped. Look.

Nonny: I’ll take your word for it.

(Just then, Molly passes by, breaks stride as she spots Jessica’s handiwork, then continues on. Gil shakes his head.)

Nonny: So what happens? If you break an Unbreakable Vow?

(Gil glowers, watching as Jessica’s heart slowly vanishes.)

Gil: You die.

(Scene: Gordon House)

(The house glows with light and holiday music rings from the wireless. Pablo and Brett fill cups with steaming nog and Mrs. Gordon and Oona ferry plates of food.)

Mrs. Gordon: Eat up, eat up, everyone! There’s more to come!

(Nonny sits in deep conversation with Sir Mulligan, Miss Jenny, and Mr. Gordon. Gil sits by silently. Sir Mulligan looks haggard.)

Nonny: Tobias’s plotting something, I know it, something to do with Rotten Tomato. He’s been given a task or a mission -- and Mr. Grumpfish was offering to help.

Sir Mulligan: Rotten Tomato has chosen Tobias Gordon for a mission?

Nonny: I know it sounds mad --

Sir Mulligan: Has it occurred to you, Nonny, that Mr. Grumpfish was simply pretending to offer Tobias help so that he could find out what he’s up to?

Nonny: That’s not what it sounded like.

Miss Jenny: Perhaps Nonny’s right, Sir Mulligan. To make an Unbreakable Vow, after all --

Sir Mulligan: It comes down to whether or not you trust Mr. Grouper’s judgement. He trusts Mr. Grumpfish. Therefore, I do.

Nonny: But Mr. Grouper can make mistakes. He’s said it himself --

Sir Mulligan: You’re blinded by hatred.

Nonny: I’m not --

Sir Mulligan: (sharply) You are! People are disappearing, Nonny. Daily. We can only put our trust in a handful of people. If we start fighting amongst ourselves, we’re doomed.

(Miss Jenny gives Nonny a furtive glance, as if to say, “Leave it.”)

Oona: Open up, you.

(Nonny turns, finds Oona, holding something in her fingers.)

Oona: Don’t trust me?

(He obliges and she pops a small tart in his mouth.)

Nonny: It’s good.

Oona: ‘Course ‘tis. Made them myself.

(She smiles at him, hooks her ginger hair over one ear and Gil plops down between them. Big brother to the rescue.)

(Scene: Reeds)

(Within the reeds. An eerie POV. Tracking Nonny and Mr. Gordon as they walk from the house to the adjacent workshop.)

(Scene: Mr. Gordon's Workshop)

(Nonny trails Mr. Gordon through his cluttered workshop, which is chock-a-block with Muggle objects: Steam irons. Toasters. Clock radios. Plugs. Lots of plugs. The party can still be heard, drifting faintly from the main house.)

Mr. Gordon: You’ll have to forgive Sir Mulligan. It takes its toll -- his condition.

Nonny: (studying him) Are you alright, Mr. Gordon?

(Arthur tries a smile, but it fades. He frowns, pained.)

Mr. Gordon: We’re being followed, all of us. Molly doesn’t leave the house most days. It’s not been easy.

Nonny: (a nod, then) Did you get my owl?

Mr. Gordon: Yes, but I thought it best if I replied in person. If Mr. Grouper’s traveling, it’s news to the Ministry. But perhaps that’s the way Mr. Grouper wants it. As for Tobias Gordon -- I know a bit more.

Nonny: Go on.

Mr. Gordon: I sent an agent to Borgin & Burkes. From what you describe, I think what you and Gil saw at the end of the summer -- the object that Tobias seemed so interested in -- was a Vanishing Cabinet.

Nonny: A Vanishing Cabinet?

Mr. Gordon: They were all the rage when Rotten Tomato first rose to power. You can imagine the appeal. Should the Death Eaters come calling, one needed only slip inside and disappear for an hour or two. But they’re tricky contraptions. Require a tremendous amount of looking after. Eventually they fell out of favor.

Nonny: What happened to it? The one at Borgin & Burkes?

Mr. Gordon: Nothing. It’s still there.

(Nonny nods, pondering this.)

Mr. Gordon: Nonny. You know, I went through all this before -- the last time around. Times like these -- dark times -- do funny things to people. It can bring them together and it can tear them apart. Things... speed up. It’s what happens when you don’t know if today will be your last.

(Scene: Reeds)

(Similar eerie POV. On the porch, Molly and Arthur, looking middle-aged and fragile, say goodbye to Sir Mulligan and Miss Jenny.)

(Scene: Porch)

(While the others talk, Sir Mulligan stands a bit off to the side, staring into the reeds. His nostrils flair subtly.)

Miss Jenny: It was delicious, Molly. Really.

Mrs. Gordon: You’re sure you won’t stay?

Miss Jenny: No, we should go. (under her breath) The first night of the cycle is always the worst --

(Miss Jenny gestures vaguely to the moon. Arthur glances at Sir Mulligan as the hairs on his knuckles rise.)

Mrs. Gordon: Sir Mulligan...?

(Scene: Second Floor)

(Nonny peers through the ripples of an imperfect windowpane, studying the others below. A floorboard creaks. He turns, watches Oona emerge into the light, in a robe, twisting her wet hair in a towel.)

Oona: Everyone gone to bed?

Nonny: Soon.

Oona: I don’t sleep these days. So I wash my hair. Silly, right?

(Nonny just stares at her, the air prickling with silence. Oona eyes him knowingly.)

Oona: Happy Christmas, Nonny.

(Scene: Porch)

(Sir Mulligan continues to peer into the reeds. His pupils contract.)

Miss Jenny: Sweetheart...

Sir Mulligan: There’s someone out there. I can smell him. There’s more than one --

(Suddenly -- throughout the reeds -- torches blaze.)

(Scene: Second Floor)

(The rippled window behind Nonny blushes with light. Oona’s eyes shift from Nonny to the trees beyond.)

Oona: Oh my god...

(Nonny turns, his breath fogging the windowpane as, far below, flames snake out of the reeds and slither toward the house. The Witch emerges, peering up through the darkness toward Nonny’s silhouette, a mad grin on her face. As she shrieks eerily, his eyes flash with hatred.)

(Scene: Porch)

(Nonny bursts through the front door, wand drawn, pelts toward the Witch. She grins, turns, and vanishes into the reeds.)

Mr. Gordon: Nonny, no!

(Flames race up the porch steps, climb the walls of the house. Sir Mulligan draws his wand and races after Nonny.)

Miss Jenny: Sir Mulligan!

(Gil, Pablo and Brett appear, join Arthur as he dashes toward the smoking marsh. Arthur glances back as Oona emerges.)

Mr. Gordon: Oona, stay with your mother!

(Without hesitation, she races for the reeds.)

(Scene: Reeds)

(Nonny careens through the marsh, reeds flashing past, then spies the Witch. She grins, looking like a crazed wood nymph, then flits off, her laughter mocking him. As he pursues, fire snakes through the reeds toward him. Pablo, Brett, Gil and Arthur fan out, running full-out, their feet kicking up sparks as shadows splinter throughout the reeds. It’s like chasing ghosts. Oona, purple hair gleaming, races through the reeds. The Witch leads Nonny on, grinning madly. Oona comes dashing to a halt, chest heaving as she peers into the smoking marsh. A huge figure quivers through a veil of smoke. Oona’s eyes shift, see the Witch racing forward through the reeds, then shift back as the veil of smoke evaporates, reveals... the Night Wizard. The Witch makes an odd, clicking noise -- like a signal -- and the Night Wizard edges forward, sweeping away the reeds in front of him and revealing... Nonny as he pelts forward.)

Oona: No, Nonny! It’s a trap!

(Nonny falters, looking toward Oona’s voice and spies the Night Wizard. The Witch stops dead, wheels in her tracks and, seeing Oona, shrieks with rage. Raising her wand, she fires a bolt of red light which explodes in a shower of sparks around Oona. Oona fires back, then wheels away, flashing through the reeds and coming face to face with... the Night Wizard, sharp teeth glittering.)

Night Wizard: Don’t you smell clean.

(Just then, a bolt of blue bursts off the Night Wizard’s back and he turns, sees Nonny standing several yards off. As the Night Wizard gives chase, Oona pelts after and we cut back and forth between Nonny, Oona and the beast between them, faster and faster, their breaths shortening until... the Night Wizard rushes into a clearing, panting, glancing about. Just then, twin bolts of light blast from opposite sides of the clearing and the Night Wizard is lifted in the air, slammed to the ground. As he regains his feet he looks into the reeds and sees Nonny and Oona, wands poised. He grins... when the Witch’s odd, clicking signal carries through the night once again. Turning away, he exits. Nonny and Oona slowly step out of the reeds, stare at each other wordlessly. Then... Gil, Pablo, Brett, Arthur and Sir Mulligan come thrashing into the clearing, stop. All around them, the reeds smoke, the flames dying. Across the marsh, the Witch’s cackle rises briefly on the air -- then all is quiet.)

Molly (v.o.): You’re lucky you weren’t killed.

(Scene: Corridor)

(Molly reads the Daily Prophet as she walks alongside Nonny. The HEADLINE is GLOOMY: “MORE DISAPPEARANCES.”)

Molly: You have to realize who you are, Nonny.

Nonny: (sharply) I know who I am, Molly, alright? (frowning) Sorry.

Molly: So tell me what Arthur said.

Nonny: If Mr. Grouper’s traveling places, it’s news to the Ministry. But get this: that night at Borgin & Burkes? It seems Tobias was looking at a Vanishing Cabinet.

Molly: What would Tobias want with a Vanishing Cabinet?

Molly: You tell me.

(Molly frowns, pondering this. Then:)

Molly: He looks different, don’t you think? Tobias. Almost... ill.

Nonny: Who could tell the difference?

Gil (o.s.): Jess, c’mon. Of course I’ll wear it.

(They glance ahead, see Gil and a pouting Jessica. Gil holds a gold chain which spells out “My Sweetheart.”)

Jessica: That’s my Gilly.

Molly: Excuse me, I have to go vomit.

(As Molly exits, Nonny spies Oona, in an alcove, sitting by as Tom laughs with Dean. Looking up, she sees Nonny, gives a feeble wave. He waves back.)

(Scene: Mr. Grouper's Office)

(Nonny's face plunges into the water, breaking the surface.)

(Scene: Arctic Dan's Office)

(A much younger -- and more smartly dressed Arctic Dan probes a dish of crystallized pineapple as he holds court before the 16-year-old Color Monster and five other boys. The crystal hourglass sits on a side table.)

Color Monster: Sir, is it true that Chef Stef is retiring?

(Arctic Dan chuckles, wags a sugar-encrusted finger at the Color Monster.)

Arctic Dan: Now, Color Monster, I couldn’t tell you if I knew, could I? I must say, m’boy, I’d like to know where you get your information. More knowledgeable than half the staff, you are. (as the other boys laugh) By the way, thank you for the pineapple -- you’re quite right, it is my favorite -- how is it you knew?

Color Monster: Intuition.

(The Color Monster smiles but his expression suggests intuition had nothing to do with it. Arctic Dan chuckles uneasily.)

Arctic Dan: Good gracious, look at the time. Off you go, boys, or the Big Blue Fish will have us all in detention. Lestrange, Avery, don’t forget your essays...

(As the others file out, Arctic Dan busies himself with some papers when -- Ping! -- he turns, finds the Color Monster still there, standing by the crystal hourglass.)

Arctic Dan: Look sharp, Color Monster. You don’t want to be caught out of bed after hours...

Color Monster: I know a secret shortcut or two.

Arctic Dan: Yes, I imagine you do. Something on your mind, Color Monster?

Color Monster: Yes, sir. I couldn’t think of anyone else to go to. The other teachers, well, they’re not like you. They might... misunderstand.

Arctic Dan: Go on.

(The Color Monster slips off the ring on his left hand, begins to roll it between his fingers. It is set with a black stone.)

Color Monster: I was in the library the other night, in the Restricted section, and I read something rather odd, about a bit of rare magic, and I thought perhaps you could illuminate me...

(Suddenly, a dense fog engulfs the room and Arctic Dan’s voice twists into an angry shriek:)

Arctic Dan: I don’t know anything about such things and I wouldn’t tell you if I did! Now get out of here at once and don’t ever let me catch you mentioning it again!

(The fog grows thicker.)

(Scene: Mr. Grouper's Office)

(Nonny blinks, finds Mr. Grouper studying him from across the room.)

Mr. Grouper: Confused? I would be surprised if you weren’t.

Nonny: I don’t understand -- what happened?

Mr. Grouper: This is perhaps the most important memory I’ve collected. It’s also a lie. (off Nonny’s look) This memory has been tampered with. In this case by the person whose memory it is, our friend Arctic Dan.

Nonny: But why would he tamper with his own memory?

Mr. Grouper: I suspect he is ashamed of it.

Nonny: Why?

Mr. Grouper: Why indeed.

(Mr. Grouper trails his withered fingers in the Pensieve.)

Mr. Grouper: I asked you to get to know Arctic Dan and you’ve done so. Now I want you to persuade him to divulge his true memory. Any way you can.

Nonny: I don’t know him that well, sir --

Mr. Grouper: You’re the Chosen One, Nonny. And Arctic Dan is, at heart, a decent man. Provide the proper circumstances and he will confess his sins.

(Mr. Grouper lifts his fingers from the Pensieve, studies them. They are, in this moment, iridescent, whole.)

Mr. Grouper: This memory is everything, Nonny. Without it, we are blind. Without it, we leave the fate of our world to chance. You have no choice. You must not fail.

(As Nonny watches, the damp sheen enveloping Mr. Grouper’s hand evaporates and once again his fingers decay.)

(Scene: Arctic Dan's Classroom)

(As the class bell rings, a group of first years rise.)

Arctic Dan: Now don’t forget to look over the chapter on antidotes. I’ll be poisoning one of you next time we meet. I’m joking! Off you go! Don’t forget your rattails, Miss Alys.

(As the tiny ones scurry out, Nonny is revealed, waiting just outside the door. He enters. For a moment, Arctic Dan merely hums over his briefcase, unaware. Then...)

Arctic Dan: Ah! If it isn’t the Prince of Potions himself! To what do I owe the pleasure?

Nonny: Well, sir, I wondered if I might ask you something.

Arctic Dan: Ask away, my dear boy, ask away!

Nonny: Well, you see, the other day I was in the Restricted Section -- in the library -- and I stumbled upon something rather odd while reading. Something about a bit of rare magic...

Arctic Dan: Yes? And exactly what was this rare magic.

Nonny: I’m not sure... That is, I don’t recall the name... exactly. But it got me wondering... Are there some kinds of magic you’re not allowed to teach?

(Arctic Dan looks up, eyes Nonny carefully.)

Arctic Dan: I’m a Potions teacher, Nonny. Perhaps your question would best be posed to Mr. Grumpfish.

Nonny: Yes, well, we don’t exactly see eye-to-eye, sir. What I mean to say is, he’s not like you. He might... misunderstand.

(Recognition flickers in Arctic Dan’s eyes. A glint of fear.)

Arctic Dan: There can be no light without the dark. And so it is with magic. Myself, I have always strived to live within the light. I suggest you do the same.

(Arctic Dan gathers his briefcase, starts to exit.)

Nonny: Did you say the same to the Color Monster, sir? When he came asking questions.

(Arctic Dan freezes in the doorway, then slowly turns.)

Arctic Dan: Mr. Grouper put you up to this. Didn’t he? Didn’t he!

Nonny: Sir --

(Arctic Dan silences him with an upraised hand. Then, without another word, he is gone.)

(Scene: Corridor)

(Lightning flashes. Thunder rumbles. Rain lashes the windows. Through the birdcage’s grid of wires someone approaches. As Nonny passes, we hold on the cage. One bird is missing. Only the black one remains. As thunder booms, the bird ruffles its feathers. Nonny glances down the corridor adjacent, sees a figure start up the far stairwell. As the shadow ascends, Nonny follows. The figure continues on, passes out of view. Nonny follows.)

(Scene: Seventh Floor Corridor)

(The figure comes into view. It’s Tobias. He stops halfway down, looks back the way he came. Nonny’s shadow scales the wall as he approaches. Tobias watches calmly, then turns, closes his eyes. And simply... disappears. Nonny turns the corner. Stops. No one.)

(Scene: Room of Requirement)

(Tobias wends his way through the towering shelves, removes the tapestry and faces the gleaming cabinet. He reaches into his coat and carefully removes the white bird. Holding it in one hand, he studies it, gently stroking its feathers with the other. For a moment, he seems lost in the activity, lost in the bird’s coal black eyes, its bobbing head. Then, gently, he places it in the cabinet and closes the door. Waits. When he opens the cabinet, the bird is gone. He closes the cabinet once more. A feather, white and gleaming, clings to the cuff of his jacket. He takes it, turns it in the light. It is fragile, translucent. He looks briefly lost again, then blinks, turns back to the cabinet, slowly reaches out and opens it. The bird is there. Dead.)

(Scene: Common Room)

(Molly does her homework while Nonny peers at the Marauder’s Map. They are the only ones present.)

Molly: Did you actually expect you could just walk up to Ol’ Arctic Danny and ask him to reveal his deepest, darkest secret? Honestly, Nonny, sometimes I think the Daily Prophet should call you the Dim One.

Nonny: Nice.

Molly: (rising to go) You’re going to have to persuade him somehow. And now, I’m afraid, you’ve made it a lot harder.

Nonny: Molly. I think Tobias’s leaving the castle.

(Molly stops dead, looks back at Nonny. He nods.)

Nonny: I’ve seen it. Sometimes... sometimes he just disappears off the Map.

Molly: That’s... not possible. No one can leave the castle these days. The Map is wrong.

Nonny: The Map is never wrong.

(Molly frowns, thinking, then shakes her head, turns away.

(Scene: Boys' Dormitory)

(Nonny slumps into the darkened dormitory. Stops. On the floor, glittering in the moonlight, is a trail of candy foils. A bit further along, Gil sits in his PJ’s upon the window sill, a heart-shaped box by his side.)

Gil: It’s beautiful, isn’t it? The moon.

Nonny: Divine. Had ourselves a little late-night snack, did we?

Gil: It was on your bed. The box. Thought I’d try one...

Nonny: Or twenty.

Gil: I can’t stop thinking about her, Nonny.

Nonny: Really? Honestly, I reckoned she was starting to annoy you.

Gil: She could never annoy me. I think... I think I love her.

Nonny: Excuse me?

(Gil nods. Nonny looks bewildered.)

Nonny: Well... Brilliant.

Gil: Do you think she knows I exist?

Nonny: Bloody well hope so. She’s been snogging you for three months.

Gil: Snogging? Who’re you talking about?

Nonny: Who’re you talking about?

Gil: Gina, of course. Gina Imani.

(Nonny stares at Gil... then grins.)

Nonny: Okay. Very funny.

(He turns to his bed, throws back the covers when... the heart-shaped box caroms off his head.)

Nonny: What the hell was that for?

Gil: It’s no joke! I’m in love with her!

Nonny: Okay! Fine! You’re in love with her! Have you ever actually met her!

Gil: No. Can you introduce me?

(Nonny stops rubbing his head, eyes Gil oddly, then glances at the candy box at his feet. There is an envelope. Taking it, he slides out a card: “Dear Nonny. Thinking sweet thoughts of you. Happy Valentine’s Day. Gina.” He suppresses a smile.)

Nonny: Gil, these chocolates, they’re -- C’mon. I’m going to introduce you to Gina Imani.

(Scene: Corridor)

(Nonny leads Gil, still in his PJs, toward a door.)

Gil: How do I look?

Nonny: Devastatingly handsome.

(Nonny raps on the door. Footsteps -- followed by a loud crash.)

Arctic Dan (o.s.): Damn it all!

(The door opens. Arctic Dan stands in a green velvet dressing gown and matching nightcap, looking bleary-eyed and annoyed. Something smokes on the floor behind him -- the floor lamp he’d sent wobbling the night of the dinner party.)

Arctic Dan: Yes???!!!! (warily) Oh. Pirruccello. It’s you. I’m afraid I’m busy at the moment --

(He starts to close the door. Nonny sticks his foot in.)

Nonny: Sir. I’m sorry. I wouldn’t bother you if it weren’t absolutely --

Gil: Where’s Gina?

(Arctic Dan squints over Nonny’s shoulder at Gil who is doing precisely the same from the other side.)

Arctic Dan: What’s the matter with Goodson?

(Nonny leans forward, whispers into Arctic Dan’s ear. He frowns.)

Arctic Dan: Ah. Very well. Bring him in.

(Scene: Arctic Dan's Office)

(Arctic Dan, with practiced ease, mixes a concoction of powders and potions into a goblet while Gil peers into a mirror. As he paces, Nonny passes “the shelf” and finds, front and center, a photograph of himself and Arctic Dan -- the one taken at the Christmas party. In deep b.g. is photograph of Mr. Grumpfish, as a young student, clutching his potions textbook.)

Arctic Dan: I’d have thought you could whip up a remedy for this in no time, Nonny -- an expert potioneer like you.

Nonny: I figured this called for a more practiced hand, sir.

Gil: Hello, darling. Fancy a drink?

(Arctic Dan and Nonny turn, watch Gil wink into the mirror.)

Arctic Dan: Hm. Perhaps you’re right.

(As Arctic Dan goes back to mixing, Nonny eyes him furtively.)

Nonny: I’m sorry, sir. About the other day. Our... misunderstanding.

(Arctic Dan eyes Nonny briefly, looks away.)

Arctic Dan: Yes, well, water under the bridge as they say, correct?

Nonny: I mean, I’m sure you’re tired of it, after all these years. The questions. About... Rotten Tomato.

(Arctic Dan’s mixing hand falters instantly.)

Arctic Dan: I’ll ask you not to use that name.

(Arctic Dan’s stare is fierce. Finally, he turns, goblet in hand, and puts a smile on his face, his voice cheery.)

Nonny: Yes, sir. It’s just, well, Mr. Grouper once said that fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself. It seemed sensible.

Arctic Dan: With all due respect, Mr. Grouper sometimes forgets that most of us do not possess powers so great that we can risk offending the most dangerous Dark Lord who ever lived.

(Arctic Dan’s stare is fierce, as fierce as the one Mr. Groupr fixed Nonny with. Finally, he turns away.)

Arctic Dan: Alright, m’boy! Bottoms up!

Gil: What’s this?

Arctic Dan: A tonic for the nerves.

(Gil drinks. Beams briefly. Then his grin sags.)

Gil: What happened to me?

Nonny: Love potion.

Arctic Dan: And a bloody strong one at that.

Gil: I feel really... bad.

Arctic Dan: Pick-me-up’s what you need, m’boy. (eying Nonny again) Do us all good, I think. I’ve got butterbeer, wine -- ah -- and a dazzling oak-matured mead. I had other intentions for this but given the circumstances...

(Arctic Dan takes a stout bottle and fills a glass for Gil. As Gil sips, Arctic Dan fills a pair for he and Nonny.)

Arctic Dan: There we are, Pirruccello. To life!

(Crash! -- Gil’s glass hits the floor and he crumples to his knees, then tumbles full out on the rug, spasming horribly, foam oozing over his lips. Nonny rushes to him.)

Nonny: Gil! Gil!!! Arctic Dan, help him!

Arctic Dan: I d-don’t understand --

Nonny: Arctic Dan! Do something!!

(Arctic Dan shuffles haplessly through his bag, mumbling, at a loss. Nonny turns back to Gil -- his skin is turning blue.)

Nonny: He’s choking!!

(Nonny glances about, then leaps up, and frantically begins to strip the walls of its potion stores, looking for something, anything. A box tumbles, something spills: a scattering of stones, no bigger than a robin’s egg, shriveled and dry. Snatching one, he wrenches open Gil’s jaw and thrusts it deep into his throat. Instantly Gil stops moving, paralyzed. The room is suddenly silent. He’s not breathing. Nonny places both hands behind Gil’s head and gives it a shake. Another.)

Nonny: Breathe! C’mon, Gil, don’t be a prat. Breathe! BREATHE!

(Nonny shakes him again and again... then stops. Gil’s head rolls limply from his fingers. Arctic Dan looks on, mouth agape. Useless. Then... a cough, a great hiccupping cough -- like a swimmer almost drowned -- and Gil is back. Breathing.)

Gil: These girls are gonna kill me, Nonny.

(Nonny grins. Then Gil’s eyes flutter. Out. But breathing.)

(Scene: Hospital Wing)

(Nonny, Mr. Grouper, Mr. Grumpfish, Mrs. Grouper, Oona and a very somber Molly circle Gil’s bed as Madam Pomfrey ministers to him. Arctic Dan sits off to the side, in a chair, looking stunned.)

Mr. Grouper: Quick thinking on your part, Nonny. Using a Bezoar. You must be very proud of your student, eh, Arctic Dan?

Arctic Dan: Hm? Oh. Yes... very proud.

Mrs. Grouper: I think we all agree that Mr. Pirruccello’s actions were heroic. The question is: Why were they necessary.

Mr. Grouper: Why indeed.

(Mr. Grouper takes the half-empty bottle of mead, still bearing a bit of giftwrap.)

Mr. Grouper: This appears to be a gift, Arctic Dan. You don’t by chance remember who gave you this bottle, do you -- which by the way possesses remarkably subtle hints of licorice and cherry when not polluted with poison.

Arctic Dan: Actually I had intended to give it as a gift myself.

Mr. Grouper: To whom might I ask?

Arctic Dan: You, Headmaster.

(Just then -- the door bursts open: Jessica.)

Jessica: Where is he? Where’s my Gilly! Has he been asking for me? (stopping; glaring daggers) What’s she doing here?

Molly: I might ask you the same.

Jessica: I happen to be his girlfriend.

Molly: I happen to be his... friend.

Jessica: Don’t make me laugh. You haven’t spoken in weeks. I suppose you want to make up with him now that he’s suddenly all interesting.

Molly: He’s been poisoned, you daft dimbo! And for the record, I’ve always found him interesting.

(Molly frowns, a bit embarrassed. Gil snorts, stirring.)

Jessica: Ha! See? He senses my presence. I’m here, Gilly. I’m here --

Gil: Mar... Lee... Mar! Lee!

(Gil, in a haze, reaches out blindly. Blushing, Molly takes his hand. Instantly, he falls unconscious again. Jessica, vibrating with rage, stalks out. Mr. Grouper beams.)

Mr. Grouper: Ah, to be young and feel love’s keen sting. Come, everyone, I think Mr. Gordon is well tended.

(As Mr. Grouper leads the others past Nonny, Nonny studies him. Oona passes, face very close, whispering as she indicates Gil and Molly.)

Oona: ‘Bout time, don’t you think?

(Nonny watches her go, hopelessly smitten, sees that Arctic Dan has paused in the doorway.)

Arctic Dan: I’ve always cherished my students. They’re my life...

(Then he is gone too. Nonny turns back, studies Molly, hand enfolded over Gil’s. She looks up, sees his faint smile.)

Molly: Oh shut up.

End of Part 5.