Episode 307.g Bubble Guppies: Nonny Pirruccello and the Chamber of Secrets! (Part 7)

Plot
It's Year 2 at Bubblewarts, and Nonny Pirruccello, Gil, and Molly are back learning, but their year doesn't go past quietly. Members of the school are turning up petrified and bloody writing are appearing on the walls, revealing to everyone, that someone has opened the chamber of secrets. The attacks continue, bringing the possibility of the closure of Hogwarts. Nonny and his friends are now forced to secretly uncover the truth about the chamber before the school closes or any lives are taken.

Cast (Characters from the real movie)

 * Nonny as (Harry Potter)
 * Gil as (Ron Weasley)
 * Molly as (Hermione Granger)
 * Mr. Mitchell as (Vernon Dursley)
 * Mrs. Mitchell as (Petunia Dursley)
 * Micheal as (Dudley Dursley)
 * Clam as (Dobby)
 * Pablo as (Fred Weasley)
 * Brett as (George Weasley)
 * Oona as (Ginny Weasley)
 * Mrs. Gordon as (Molly Weasley)
 * Mr. Gordon as (Arthur Weasley)
 * Hauntsworth as (Percy Weasley)
 * Mr. Grumpfish as (Severus Snape)
 * Mr. Grouper as (Albus Dumbledore)
 * Mrs. Grouper as (Minerva McGonagall)
 * Rock Ness Lobster as (Gilderoy Lockhart)
 * The Color Monster as (Tom Riddle)
 * Crabs, Lobsters, and Snails as (Other characters)

Information

 * Genres: Adventure, Family, Fantasy
 * Rating: PG for a little violence, a little cursing, and a bit of scary scenes.
 * Type of film: Fantasy.

Trivia

 * This is based on the 2002 film "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets." You can read about it on Wikipedia or IMDb
 * There are regular characters and fanon characters. Some don't return in this movie while there are new characters too.
 * This is the sequel to "Nonny Pirruccello and the Philosopher's Stone!" This story takes place a year after the first story.

​Story
Start of Part 7.

(Scene: Dark Forest)

(Dottie crashes through low-slung branches and sharp brambles as Nonny follows. Gil gingerly picks his way, the jumps... as Dottie howls. Branches snap. A rumbling noise sounds, then... silence. Nonny spies something, points O.S.)

Nonny: There's something moving over there... something big.

(Just then a blaze of light splinters the trees, blinding them . They start to flee... when Gil stops.)

Gil: Nonny!... Nonny, it's our car!

(Scratched and mud-smeared, with bits of earth and grass sprouting from its headlamps and hubcaps -- the Ford Anglia looks half-animal. Gil circles it in wonder.)

Nonny: It's been here all the time! Look at it. The Forest has turned it wild.

(Nonny nods, then glances back up the slope.)

Nonny: C'mon, we don't want to lose the trail.

(Scene: Spiders' Hollow)

(Nonny and Gil enter a hollow ribboned with shadows. Enormous trees tower over them, strewn with strands of white webbing. Gil steps on a strand, kicks it off queasily. Nonny peers up ahead: at the far end of the hollow, the spiders stream toward a dark opening. As Nonny and Gil approach the opening, a clicking sound emanates from within, echoing in the branches of the tall trees. Growing louder. Gil falters, glancing about nervously.)

Gil: I don't have a good feeling about this, Nonny --

Nonny: Don't panic.

(As Nonny steps to the mouth of the cavern, the air suddenly crackles with movement. Twigs snap. A huge shadow emerges, slowly engulfs Harry. He peers up. Sees: An ancient spider, the size of a small elephant. As it advances, Nonny and Gil back slowly away. Then: its blind eyes catch the light, and it stops. As if... listening.)

Ancient Spider: You do not come from the forest. Your hearts beat like... men.

Nonny: (breathing finally) Yes. We're friends of Mr. Langoustine's. And you... you're... (as it comes to him) ... Aragog, aren't you?

(Hearing this, Aragog's head turns slightly.)

Aragog: Mr. Langoustine has never sent men into our hollow before.

Nonny: He's in trouble. Up at school, there've been attacks. They think it's Mr. Langoustine. They think he's opened the Chamber of Secrets. Like before.

(As Nonny talks, Gil's eyes dart warily about, then... Gil's Pov - a pair of long legs -- spider's legs -- curl slowly around the trunk of the tree to his left. Terrified, Gil nudges Nonny, but Nonny ignores him.)

Aragog: That's a lie! Mr. Langoustine never opened the Chamber of Secrets!

Nonny: But if Mr. Langoustine never... that means... you're not the monster.

Aragog: The monster was born in the castle. I came from a distant land, in the pocket of a traveler.

(Gil turns. Two crawling silhouettes inch forward. Pause. Waiting. Watching.)

Gil: Nonny...

Nonny: Shhh! (to Aragog) But if you're not the monster, what did kill that girl fifty years ago?

Aragog: We do not speak of it! It is an ancient creature we spiders fear above all others.

Nonny: But have you seen it?

(A scrabbling sound echoes above Gil. He glances up: a spider crouches on a branch above.)

Aragog: I never saw any part of the castle but the cupboard in which Mr. Langoustine kept me. The girl was discovered in a bathroom. When I was accused, Mr. Langoustine brought me here.

(More scrabbling. Gil looks up. We pan up with him. See: spiders -- in high and low branches -- dropping downward like paratroopers. Gil grabs Nonny.)

Nonny: (annoyed) What!

(Gil points. Nonny looks. Pales. Turns slowly back to Aragog.)

Nonny: Well... thank you. We'll just go...

Aragog: Go? I think not. My sons and daughters do not harm Mr. Langoustine, on my command. But I cannot deny them fresh meat when it wanders so willingly into our midst. Goodbye, friend of Mr. Langoustine.

(Aragog turns, disappears into the shadows of the cavern.)

Gil: Can we panic now?

(Click! Click! Click! Nonny and Gil spin. A gang of five-foot spiders bar the path ahead. Begin to move forward. Nonny and Gil spin again: spiders. Everywhere. Closing in. Desperately, Nonny swings the lantern in his hand. The spiders falter, then creep forward again as the arc of the light chases itself away. Around and around. Then: The lantern goes out. Nonny pitches it aside. As one, he and Gil draw their wands.)

Gil: Nice knowing you.

(They're done for. Dottie whimpers. The spiders draw closer, clicking feverishly, when... a long, loud horn bleats. Seconds later, a blaze of light ignites the hollow and the Ford Anglia comes thundering over the rim and down the slope, knocking spiders out of its path. As it screeches to a halt, the doors fling open.)

Nonny: Let's go!

(Nonny, Gil, and Dottie leap inside. Gil shifts frantically. A spider appears at Nonny's open window.)

Nonny: The windows! Roll up the windows!

Gil: (trying) I can't! It's stuck!

(Just then, a hairy leg reaches through Gil's window. Instantly, Gil hits the gas, throws the car into reverse. Spiders scatter, but the two clinging to the side windows hold tight. As the car zooms backwards out of the hollow, Nonny rolls his window tight, snapping off his spider's legs.)

(Scene: Another Part of the Forest)

(The Anglia jets out of the hollow, lands with a thud. Nonny turns. The other spider is pulling Gil from the car. Nonny points his wand, utters a spell and a blinding flash of white light blasts the spider into the shadows whipping past.)

Gil: Thanks for that.

Nonny: Don't mention it.

(They stop. Both hear it: a distant clicking. As the car flies over a ridge, they see them: a sea of spiders heading straight for them like a herd of raging wildebeest. Gil puts his foot to the floor, spins the wheel and sends the car sliding away. The spiders stampede after. The Anglia slaloms through the forest, skimming past trees as the spiders charge after. Nonny peers ahead, sees an area of fallen trees. There is an opening, one narrow escape route.)

Nonny: That way! It's the only way out! (looking back) Hurry! They're catching up!

(Gil jams the accelerator... just as a giant tarantula drops in front of the escape route. Nonny and Gil are as good as dead.)

Nonny: Can you get us in the air?

Gil: (jostling the gear stick) Flying gear's jammed!

(The spiders behind draw closer. The tarantula waits ahead. Nonny claps his hand over Gil's on the gear shift, pushing. The tarantula's pincers open, ready to kill, when... the gear shift gives, the Anglia's wheels lift and the car flies over camera, leaving the furious spiders below. The car barely avoids the rearing tarantula, then sails over the trees.)

(Scene: Mr. Langoustine's Hut)

(As they land, Dottie bolts free. Nonny and Gil exit the car wearily, then watch it turn and rumble back into the forest.)

Gil: 'Follow the spiders'! Follow the spiders'! If he ever gets out of Azkaban, I'll kill Mr. Langoustine. I mean, what was the point of sending us in there? What have we found out?

Nonny: We know one thing. Mr. Langoustine never opened the Chamber of Secrets. He was innocent.

(Scene: Hospital Wing)

(The Nurse bars the door, frowns at Nonny and Gil.)

Nurse: There's no point in talking to a petrified person. She won't hear a word you're saying.

(Gil shifts uncomfortably.)

Gil: We know that, Nurse. It's just, well, you see, we thought, maybe, we could... be with her for a bit. She's our... friend, you see, and... even if she can't hear us... I mean, it can't hurt, can it?

(A glint of sympathy flickers in the Nurse's eyes.)

Nurse: Very well then. But be quick about it.

(As she exits, the boys step to her bed. Absently, Gil picks up the circular mirror that lies on the nightstand. Eyes the Rock Ness Lobster's Get Well card.

Gil: You don't think the Rock Ness Lobster could be the heir of Slytherin, do you? (off Nonny's look) Right. Forget I said it.

(Nonny studies Molly's face.)

Nonny: Wish you were here, Molly. We need you. Now more than ever...

(Just then, the mirror in Gil's hand catches the late afternoon sunlight and casts a jagged flame across Molly's hand. Nonny watches the light dance over her fingers... then looks closer. Sees the paper clutched there.)

(Scene: Corridor)

(Nonny and Gil duck into an alcove, take out the crinkled paper, which, we see now, is torn from a library book.)

Nonny: 'Of the many fearsome beasts that roam our land, none is more deadly than the Basilisk. Capable of living for hundreds of years, instant death awaits any who meet this giant serpent's eye. Spiders flee before it and only the crowing of the rooster can kill it.' (looking up) Gil! This is it! The monster in the Chamber of Secrets is a Basilisk. That's why I can hear it speak. It's a snake.

Gil: But it kills by looking people in the eye. Why is it no one's dead?

(Nonny frowns, contemplating this, then catches he and Gil's reflection in the window opposite. He mutters softly:)

Nonny: Because no one did look it in the eye. Not directly at least... (in a rush) Edmond saw it through his camera. Tito -- Tito must've seen the Basilisk through the Big Bad Wolf! Big Bad Wolf got the full blast of it, but he's a ghost -- he couldn't die again... And Molly... had the mirror! I bet you anything she was using it to look round corners, in case it came along.

Gil: And Bubble Kitty? I'm pretty sure she didn't have a camera or a mirror, Nonny.

Nonny: The water... there was water on the floor that night. She only saw the Basilisk's reflection... (scanning the page again) The crowing of the rooster is fatal to it! That's why Mr. Langoustine's roosters were killed! Spiders flee before it! It all fits!

Gil: But how's the Basilisk been getting around? A dirty great snake. Someone would have seen...

Nonny: Molly answered that too.

(Nonny points. Scribbled, in Molly's hand, is: "Pipes."

Gil: (aghast) Pipes...? It's using the plumbing.

Nonny: Remember what Aragog said? About that girl fifty years ago? She died in a bathroom. What if she never left.

Gil: Moaning Misbubbles!

(Nonny nods. Just then, Mrs. Grouper's voice echoes throughout the castle, magically magnified.)

Mrs. Grouper: All students are to return to their house dormitories at once. All teachers to the second floor corridor. Immediately.

(Scene: Second Floor Corridor)

(Mrs. Grouper stands before the desecrated wall, surrounded by the rest of the staff. Nonny and Gil creep up the stairwell.)

Mrs. Grouper: As you can see, the Heir of Slytherin has left another message. Our worst fear has been realized. A student has been taken by the monster. Into the Chamber itself. (as the teachers react) I'm afraid we shall have to send the students home. I'm afraid... this is the end of Bubblewarts.

Rock Ness Lobster: (bursting in cheerily) So sorry. Dozed off. What have I missed?

Mr. Grumpfish: Just the man. A girl has been snatched by the monster, Rock Ness Lobster. Your moment has come at last.

Rock Ness Lobster: My m-moment?

Mr. Grumpfish: Weren't you saying just last night that you've known all along where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is?

Rock Ness Lobster: D-did I? I don't recall...

Mrs. Grouper: That settles it. We'll leave it to you to deal with the monster, Rock Ness Lobster. Your skills, after all, are legend.

Rock Ness Lobster: V-very well. I'll -- I'll be in my office, getting -- getting ready.

Mrs. Grouper: The rest of us should go and inform the students what has happened.

Snail: Who is it the monster's taken, Mrs. Grouper?

Mrs. Grouper: Oona Gordon.

(Gil's knees give way. As Nonny catches him, the staff scatters, revealing what is written on the wall: Her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever.)

(Scene: Corridor)

(Nonny and a very upset Gil walk with desperate purpose.)

Gil: She knew something, Nonny. She'd found out something about the Chamber of Secrets. That's why she was taken. I mean, she was -- is -- a pure-blood. There can't be any other reason.

Nonny: (pulling him away) C'mon. Let's go see the Rock Ness Lobster. He may be a brainless git, but he's going to try and get into the Chamber. We can tell him what we know...

Gil: Nonny. D'you think there's any chance at all she's not, you know --

(Nonny glances over, studies Gil's tortured eyes.)

Nonny: We'll find her, Gil. Oona's going to be fine.

(Gil nods, smiles shakily, and looks away. As he does, Nonny's face changes, looks troubled. Even he doesn't believe what he's just said.)

(Scene: Rock Ness Lobster's Office)

(Nonny and Gil dash inside.)

Nonny: Rock Ness Lobster, we've got some information for you --

(Nonny and Gil stop dead. The Rock Ness Lobster's office is stripped to the shelves. Two large trunks stand open.)

Nonny: Are you going somewhere?

Rock Ness Lobster: Um, well, yes. Urgent call. Unavoidable. Got to go...

Gil: What about my sister?

Rock Ness Lobster: Well, as to that -- most unfortunate. No one regrets more than I --

Gil: You're the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher! You can't go now!

Rock Ness Lobster: I must say, when I took the job, nothing in the job description --

Nonny: You're running away? After all that stuff you did in your books?

Rock Ness Lobster: Books can be misleading.

Nonny: You wrote them!

Rock Ness Lobster: My dear boy, do use your common sense. My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think I'd done all those things. No one wants to read about some ugly old Armenian warlock, even if he did save a village from werewolves. He'd look dreadful on the front cover. No dress sense at all...

Nonny: You're a fraud! You've just been taking credit for what a load of other wizards have done!

Rock Ness Lobster: Nonny, Nonny, Nonny. There was work involved. I had to track these people down and ask them exactly how they managed to do what they did. No, it's not all book signings and publicity photos. You want fame, you have to be prepared for a long, hard slog.

Gil: Is there anything you can do?

Rock Ness Lobster: Yes, now that you mention it. I'm rather gifted with Memory Charms. Otherwise, you see, all those wizards would've gone blabbing and I'd never have sold another book. I'm afraid I'll have to do the same to you both, lest you do the same.

(The Rock Ness Lobster lifts his wand, but Nonny is quicker.)

Nonny: Expelliarmus!

(The Rock Ness Lobster blasts backwards, toppling into one of the open trunks, his wand flying across the floor.)

Nonny: Looks like those Dueling Lessons came in handy after all, Rock Ness Lobster.

(Scene: Girls' Bathroom)

(The Rock Ness Lobster walks ahead of Nonny and Gil, their wands pointed at him. Moaning Misbubbles floats above the cistern.)

Misbubbles: Who's there? Oh... (smiles, flirty) Hello, Nonny. What do you want?

Nonny: To ask you how you died.

Misbubbles: (flattered) Oooooh, it was dreadful. It happened right here. In this very cubicle. I'd hidden because Olive Hornby was teasing me about my glasses. I was crying, and then I heard somebody come in.

Nonny: Who was it, Misbubbles?

Misbubbles: I don't know! I was distraught! But they said something funny. A kind of made-up language. And I realized it was a boy speaking. So I unlocked the door, to tell him to go away, and... I died.

Nonny: Just like that? How?

Misbubbles: No idea. I just remember seeing a pair of great big yellow eyes. Over there...

(Misbubbles points to the bank of sinks. Nonny and Gil hurry over, examining the pipes below, the tile above, then... Nonny sees it: etched on one of the copper taps is a tiny snake.)

Nonny: This is it, Gil. This is the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets.

Gil: Say something, Nonny. Say something in Parseltongue.

(Nonny stares off self-consciously at the tiny snake.)

Nonny: Open up.

(Gil shakes his head. Nonny's spoken in his regular voice.)

Gil: English.

(Nonny concentrates harder this time, staring so intensely that the snake almost looks alive. When, finally, he speaks, it is more like a hiss. Parseltongue. The circular group of sinks open and a large, open pipe is exposed.)

Rock Ness Lobster: Excellent, Nonny. Good work. Well then. I'll just be going. There's no need for me...

Nonny: Oh, yes there is. You first.

(Nonny points his wand at the Rock Ness Lobster, then the opening.)

Rock Ness Lobster: Now, boys. What good will it do?

Gil: A bloody lot of good if it's a two-hundred-foot drop onto jagged rocks.

(The Rock Ness Lobster steps grimly to the dark, gaping hole. Gil gives him a shove and he topples headfirst and out of sight. They wait. Finally...)

Rock Ness Lobster: It's really quite filthy down here.

Nonny: All right. Let's go.

Misbubbles: Oh, Nonny... if you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet.

Nonny: Thanks, Misbubbles.

(Nonny turns. Jumps. Seconds later, Gil follows.)

(Scene: Pipe)

(Nonny and Gil slide wicked fast, in a hair-raising vertical plummet, catching glimpses of other, smaller pipes branching off in all directions, twisting and turning until the pipe levels off, dumps them onto the damp floor of a stone tunnel.)

(Scene: Tunnel)

(The Rock Ness Lobster stares miserably at the muck dripping from his robes. Nonny takes a torch from the wall, poises his wand.)

Nonny: Lumos!

(The torch blooms with a bright orange flame.)

Nonny: Remember. Any sign of movement, close your eyes straight away.

(Nonny leads the way down the tunnel. Crunch! They look down: a rat's skull. All around them, the ground is littered with tiny skeletons. Gil squints, sees something huge and curved lying ahead. When he speaks, his voice is hollow with dread.)

Gil: What's that? Up ahead?

Rock Ness Lobster: That looks like a... snake.

(Terrified, the Rock Ness Lobster quickly hides his eyes.)

Nonny: Maybe it's asleep.

(Gil draws his wand as they approach, squinting. Nonny shines his light, revealing... a gigantic coil of empty skin.)

Gil: Bloody hell. Whatever shed this must be twenty feet long. Or more.

(Thud! They turn. The Rock Ness Lobster has passed out.)

Gil: Heart of a lion, this one.

(Gil kneels by him, when... The Rock Ness Lobster's eyes open and, quick as a fox... he snatches Gil's wand and scrambles to his feet.)

Rock Ness Lobster: The adventure ends here, boys! But don't fret. The world will know our story. How I was too late to save the girl. How you two tragically lost your minds at the sight of her mangled body. I'll even bind a limited edition in this snake skin. Say goodbye to your memories. (raising Gil's wand) Obliviate!

(Gil's wand explodes like a small bomb, blasting the Rock Ness Lobster off his feet and spitting great jets of fire into the rock above. As rubble rains, Gil leaps one way and Nonny the other. Nonny sits up, squints through the settling dust. A solid wall of broken rock seals the tunnel between him and Gil. Intercut Nonny and Gil.)

Nonny: Gil? Are you okay?

Gil: I'm okay. This git's not, though. He got blasted by my wand.

(The Rock Ness Lobster sits up, dazed. Gil picks up a rock and conks him on the head. The Rock Ness Lobster passes out. Gil calls to Nonny.)

Gil: What now?

Nonny: Wait here. I'll go on. I'll go on and... find Oona. If I'm not back in an hour...

(He leaves it there.)

Gil: I'll try and shift some of this rock. So you can get back through. And, Nonny --

Nonny: See you in a bit.

(Nonny glances at the snake skin at his feet, moves off. He steps carefully through the shadows until he reaches a towering stone wall, carved with twin serpents.)

Nonny: (Parseltongue) Open.

(The serpents part and the giant wall slides open. Nonny removes his wand and enters.)

(Scene: Chamber of Secrets)

(A vast chamber streches ahead. Along the path are rows of stone serpents. The serpents rest in pools of black water. Ahead is an enormous statue of Salazar Slytherin. Several feet in front of the statue, Oona Gordon lies motionless. As Nonny dashes and takes her into his arms, her head lolls to one side, cheeks white as marble. A pale hand clutches the Color Monster's diary to her chest. Nonny drops to the torch, races to Oona, places his wand on the floor and kneels beside her.)

Nonny: Oona! Please don't be dead. Wake up! Wake up! Oona!

Color Monster: She won't wake.

(Nonny spins. The Color Monster stands nearby. He is strangely blurred around the edges, as though Nonny was looking at him through a misted window.)

Nonny: Color Monster... The Color Monster? What d'you mean, she won't wake? She's not...

Color Monster: She's still alive. But only just.

Nonny: Are you a ghost?

Color Monster: A memory. Preserved in a diary for fifty years.

(Nonny looks to the diary in Oona's hand, then places his own hand on Oona's arm.)

Nonny: She's cold as ice. You've got to help me, Color Monster. There's a basilisk --

Color Monster: It won't come until it's called.

(Nonny looks up, sees the Color Monster twirling a wand in his fingers.)

Nonny: Give me my wand, Color Monster.

Color Monster: You won't be needing it.

Nonny: Listen, we've got to go! We've got to save her!

Color Monster: I'm afraid I can't do that, Nonny. You see, as poor Oona grows weaker... I grow stronger.

Nonny: But she's dying!

Color Monster: Yes. I'm afraid so. But then, she's been in so much pain, poor Oona. She's been writing to me for months, telling me all her pitiful worries and woes. Oona poured her soul out to me. I grew stronger on a diet of her deepest fears, her darkest secrets. I grew powerful enough to start feeding Oona a few secrets, to start pouring a bit of my soul back into her...

(The Color Monster, growing less vaporous by the second, grins cruelly.)

Color Monster: Yes, Nonny, it was Oona Gordon who opened the Chamber of Secrets.

Nonny: No... she couldn't -- she wouldn't.

Color Monster: It was Oona who set the Basilisk on the Mudbloods and the Squib's cat. Oona who wrote threatening messages on the walls.

Nonny: But... Why?...

Color Monster: Because I told her to. You'll find that I can be very persuasive. Not that she knew what she was doing. She was, shall we say, in a kind of trance. Still, the power of the diary began to scare her and she tried to dispose of it in the girls' bathroom. But then, who should find it... but you. The very person I was most anxious to meet.

Nonny: (getting angry) And why did you want to meet me?

Color Monster: Oona told me all about you. I knew I had to talk to you, meet you if I could. So I decided to show you my capture of that brainless oaf, Mr. Langoustine, to gain your trust.

Nonny: Mr. Langoustine's my friend. And you framed him, didn't you?

Color Monster: It was my word against Mr. Langoustine's. Only Mr. Grouper seemed to think Mr. Langoustine was innocent.

Nonny: I'll bet Mr. Grouper saw right through you.

Color Monster: I knew it wouldn't be safe to open the Chamber again while I was still at school. So I decided to leave behind a diary, preserving my sixteen-year-old self in its pages, so that one day... I would be able to lead another to finish Salazar Slytherin's noble work.

Nonny: Well, you haven't finished it this time. In a few hours Mandrake Draught will be ready and everyone who was petrified will be all right again.

Color Monster: Haven't I told you, that killing Mudbloods doesn't matter to me anymore? For many months now, my new target has been... you. (grinning) Imagine my disappointment when I learned Oona had stolen the diary back from you.

Nonny: Oona stole the diary from my room? But why?

Color Monster: She was afraid. Afraid you'd learn how to work the diary. Afraid I'd tell you just who it was that had been strangling all those roosters.

(Horrified, Nonny glances at Oona, growing more pale, then back to the Color Monster, who is growing more solid.)

Color Monster: Come now, Nonny. Don't look so disappointed. Had Oona succeeded in destroying the diary, she would have destroyed me. And we couldn't be having this little talk. And I have so many questions for you.

Nonny: Like what?

Color Monster: Well, how is it that a baby with no extraordinary magical talent managed to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How did you escape with nothing but a scar, while Rotten Tomato's powers were destroyed?

Nonny: Why do you care how I escaped? Rotten Tomato was after your time.

Color Monster: Rotten Tomato is my past, present, and future.

(The Color Monster pulls Nonny's wand from his pocket and begins to trace it through the air, writing three words: "THE COLOR MONSTER." Then, with a wave, he re-arranges them: "I AM ROTTEN TOMATO."

Nonny: You. You're the heir of Slytherin. You're Rotten Tomato?

Color Monster: Surely you didn't think I would keep my filthy Muggle father's name? No, I fashioned myself a new name, a name I knew wizards everywhere would one day fear to speak, when I became the greatest sorcerer in the world.

Nonny: Mr. Grouper is the greatest sorcerer in the world!

Color Monster: Mr. Grouper's been driven out of this castle by the mere memory of me.

Nonny: He'll never be gone! Not as long as those who remain are loyal to him!

(Suddenly, music... eerie and unearthly... echoes deep within the chamber and a small, swift shadow ribbons over the rock. Flying from above is Fawkes, the Phoenix. The bird swoops into the chamber, clutching a ragged bundle in its golden talons.)

Nonny: Fawkes,

(Fawkes flies toward Nonny, drops the ragged bundle, which is the Sorting Hat, at his feet. The Color Monster picks it up.)

Color Monster: (giggling) This is what Mr. Grouper sends his defender! A songbird and an old hat!

(The Color Monster tosses aside the hat. He turns to the statue of Salazar Slytherin and speaks in Parseltongue.)

Color Monster: (Parseltongue) Speak to me, Slytherin.

(Suddenly, the stone face's mouth opens. There is a rumbling sound, followed by the sound of slithering. Nonny turns away. The Basilisk, a giant serpent, spills out, uncoiling heavily to the floor. Nonny tunrs to the wall. The shadow of the serpent is visible on the wall. The Color Monster looks at Nonny.)

Color Monster: Let's match the powers of Rotten Tomato, Heir of Salazar Slytherin, against the famous Nonny Pirruccello, shall we?

(The Color Monster turns, to serpent, speaking in Parseltongue.)

Color Monster: (Parseltongue) Kill him!

(The hissing serpent shoots forward. Nonny turns, runs away.)

Color Monster: Parseltongue won't save you now, Pirruccello. The Basilisk only obeys me.

Nonny: (to himself) Don't look. Don't look into its eyes.

(Nonny races along the stone path, but the giant serpent is faster. Nonny trips. Falls. The Basilisk rises. Nonny looks to the wall, sees the serpent about to strike. Suddenly Fawkes screeches, soaring toward the Basilisk and circling its blunt head, confusing it. The snake snaps furiously, when... Fawkes drops like a knife, driving its talons deep into the serpent's glittering eyes. As Nonny watches the angry play of shadows on the wall, the Basilisk roars, hissing in pain. Fawkes wings away, its talons dripping with blood and Nonny turns, looks: the Basilisk's eyes are a blind, bloody mess.

Color Monster: Fool! Think you're safe! It can still hear you!

(As Harry flees, the serpent thunders after, strinking blindly as its whipping tail shatters a Slytherin statue. Nonny dodges and ducks, then, seeing the snake about to strike again... leaps clear, stumbling toward a side tunnel.)

(Scene: Side Tunnel)

(Nonny races headlong into the shadows, then looks back, sees the snake eclipse the light at the far end of the tunnel and slither quickly inside. Thinking, Nonny ducks into an alcove, puts his hand over his mouth and waits, desperate to remain still and silent. The snake slides heavily by, then... slows. Turns back. The snake's head weaves inside, only inches from Nonny's face. Nonny trembles as the snake's head cocks to the side, then... finally... withdraws.)

(Scene: Chamber of Secrets)

(Nonny dashes back into the main chamber. Oona looks frighteningly pale. The Color Monster grins cruelly, almost solid now.)

Color Monster: Yes, Pirruccello. The process is nearly complete. In a few minutes, Oona Gordon will be dead. And I will cease to be a memory. Rotten Tomato will return. Very much... alive.

(Nonny moves toward Oona, then suddenly... the Basilisk shoots out of the tunnel, hissing directly in front of Nonny. Trapped, Nonny glances around, then -- impulsively -- leaps upward, begins to scale the statue of Salazar Slytherin. The serpent strikes madly, but Nonny continues on, climbing boldy until he reaches the top. He turns. Sees the Sorting Hat. Sees what glitters within: the ruby handle of a sword. Nonny wheels, sword in hand, and fends off the slashing serpent like St. George and the dragon. In a mad rush of courage, he pitches himself onto the serpent, slides down its back and rolls up, sword raised. Too tired to flee, Nonny simply waits. The serpent rises and, fangs bared... strikes. Marshalling every ounce of strength left to him, Nonny drives the sword upward, deep into the roof of the serpent's mouth. It hisses in pain, thrashing madly as it drives a fang into Nonny's arm. Nonny clutches his arm in agony, stumbles back, and falls to the floor, watching as the serpent thrashes briefly... then goes still. Nonny peers down, sees the fang that pierces his arm, the blood soaking slowly into his robe. As he yanks the fang free, the Color Monster steps forward, almost fully whole now. His eyes shine at the sight of Nonny's wound.)

Color Monster: Remarkable, isn't it? How quickly the venom of the Basilisk penetrates the body? If you have any final words, Pirruccello, you'd best speak them now. I'd guess you have little more than a minute to live.

(Nonny blinks heavily, watching as the skin of his forearm turns a troubling gray.)

Color Monster: So ends the famous Nonny Pirruccello. On his knees in the Chamber of Secrets. Defeated at last by the Dark Lord he so unwisely challenged. You'll be back with your dear Mudblood mother soon, Nonny...

(As the Color Monster talks, Nonny glances at Oona, nearly white now, a small ghost, the only evidence of life the trembling of a single finger. Nonny studies the finger and what lies beneath it: the Color Monster's diary. Nonny begins to crawl toward her.)

Color Monster: Funny, isn't it? The damage a silly little book can do? Especially in the hands of a silly little girl.

(As Nonny reaches Oona, he places his hand on hers, then... slips the diary free.)

Color Monster: What are you doing? No. Stop...

(The Color Monster's face creases in fear. He lunges forward. But Nonny is too quick. Raising his hand first... he plunges the fang into the book. Instantly, black ink spurts from the pages.)

Color Monster: No!

(The Color Monster shrieks, writhing in pain. His body begins to wither instantly, growing blurry once more. As the ink runs off Nonny's fingers to the floor, the Color Monster vanishes altogether. Nonny sinks back, then... hears a faint moan. Oona stirs, color blooming in her cheeks. As she sees Nonny, she sobs.)

Oona: Nonny. It was me! But I swear, I didn't mean to... the Color Monster made me. He wrote to me... took me over... I didn't even know whose diary it was. I found it inside my cauldron. The day we all went to Diagon Alley and... Nonny. You're hurt...

Nonny: Oona. You need to get yourself out... Follow the chamber... You'll find Gil...

(There is a rush of wings and Fawkes circles down, lays his head onto Nonny's arm.)

Nonny: You were brilliant, Fawkes. I just... wasn't quick enough.

(Then Nonny blinks, looks down. Thick pearly tears are trickling down Fawkes' face and onto his arm. Almost instantly, his wound... begins to heal itself.)

Nonny: Of course. Mr. Grouper told me. Phoenix tears have healing powers. (looking up at Oona) It's all right, Oona. It's over. It's just a memory...

(Scene: Tunnel)

(With Fawkes gliding gracefully ahead of them, Nonny and Oona make their way back. Up ahead, shifting rock can be heard and a jagged fissure of light glimmers. Gil's face appears.)

Gil: Oona!

(Gil wriggles through, rushes forward and hugs Oona.)

Gil: You're alive. I can't believe it.

Oona: I'm going to be expelled, I just know it!

Gil: (to Nonny) Remind you of anyone?

Nonny: Where's the Rock Ness Lobster?

(Nonny eyes the Rock Ness Lobster, sitting by himself, humming placidly.)

Gil: His Memory Charm backfired. Hasn't got a clue who he is. I keep having to stop him wandering off. He's a danger to himself.

Rock Ness Lobster: Hello. Odd sort of place, this, isn't it? Do you live here?

Gil: No.

(Gil turns, raises his eyebrows at Nonny. Nonny looks upward. There is an opening, hundreds of feet up. Just then, Fawkes circles back, fluttering in front of Nonny.)

Gil: What's with the bird?

Nonny: I think... I think he's telling me he can take us out of here.

(Scene: Rocky Tunnel)

(A curious, gliding shadow ripples across the cavernous wall, and then Nonny, Gil, Oona, and the Rock Ness Lobster soar out of the darkness, linked hand in hand. Fawkes is flying them home.)

Rock Ness Lobster: Amazing! This is just like magic!

(Scene: Mr. Grouper's Office)

(Nonny and Gil, covered in muck and slime -- stand in Mr. Grouper's office. Fawkes perches on a pedestal behind Mr. Grouper, who sits at his desk, examining the charred diary. He looks up, regarding Nonny and Gil gravely.)

Mr. Grouper: Ingenious. Simply... ingenious. (looking up) Of course, the Color Monster was probably the most brilliant student Bubblewarts has ever seen. I taught him myself fifty years ago. After he left, I would occasionally hear stories of his activities -- dark rumors -- but after awhile, even the rumors stopped. When he finally resurfaced as Rotten Tomato, most people had completely forgotten the clever Head Boy he'd once been.

Oona: I didn't know whose diary it was, sir. I swear. I found it inside my cauldron. (to the others) The day we all went to Diagon Alley.

(Hearing this, Nonny frowns in thought, recollecting...)

Oona: But I understand if... given all the trouble I've caused... if you --

Mr. Grouper: Wiser wizards than you have been hoodwinked by Rotten Tomato, Miss Gordon. No, I think you've endured enough. I would suggest a bit of bed rest, however. And perhaps a large mug of hot chocolate. I always find that cheers me up. Mrs. Grouper, will you show Arthur and Molly up to the hospital wing?

Mrs. Grouper: Certainly, Mr. Grouper.

(As they exit, Nonny and Gil watch them go. Mrs. Gordon's voice carries:)

Mrs. Gordon: A diary that writes back to you! Honestly, Oona! What were you thinking? Haven't I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain!

(Nonny and Gil turn back. See Mr. Grouper regarding them gravely.)

Mr. Grouper: You two realize, of course, that in the last few hours, you have broken perhaps a dozen school rules?

Nonny and Gil: Yes, sir.

Mr. Grouper: And that there is sufficient evidence to expel you both?

Nonny and Gil: Yes, sir.

Mr. Grouper: Therefore, it seems only fitting... (eyes twinkling) That you both receive Special Awards for Services to the School. And -- let me see -- yes, I think two hundred points apiece, which, I believe, should be more than enough to secure Gryffindor the House Cup.

Nonny and Gil: (grinning) Thank you, sir.

Mr. Grouper: Now, Mr. Gordon, if you would, have an owl deliver these release papers to Azkaban. We need our gamekeeper back.

(Gil nods, takes the envelope and exits.)

Mr. Grouper: First, Nonny, I want to thank you. You must have shown me real loyalty down in the Chamber. Nothing but that could have called Fawkes to you. Secondly, I sense you're troubled by something. Am I right?

Nonny: It's just, you see, sir, I couldn't help noticing certain things. Certain similarities. Between the Color Monster and me.

Mr. Grouper: You can speak Parseltongue, Nonny, because Rotten Tomato can speak Parseltongue. Unless I'm much mistaken, he transformed some of his own powers to you the night he gave you that scar.

Nonny: Rotten Tomato put a bit of himself in me?

Mr. Grouper: Not intentionally, but... yes.

Nonny: So the Sorting Hat was right. I should be a Slytherin.

Mr. Grouper: It's true, Nonny. You do possess many of the qualities Rotten Tomato himself prizes. Resourcefulness. Determination. A certain disregard for the rules. Yet the Sorting Hat placed you in Gryffindor.

Nonny: Only because I asked it to.

Mr. Grouper: Exactly. Which makes you very different from Rotten Tomato. It's not our abilities that show what we truly are, Nonny. It's our choices. (smiling at him) If you want proof that you belong in Gryffindor, Nonny, I suggest you look more closely at this.

(Mr. Grouper hands the bloodstained sword to Nonny. An engraved name glimmers above the ruby-encrusted hilt.)

Nonny: 'Godric Gryffindor.'

Mr. Grouper: Only a true Gryffindor could have pulled that out of the Hat.

(Suddenly, Parmesan Gordon enters dragging... Clam by the ear.)

Nonny: Clam! This is your Master? The family you serve is the Malfoys!

(Clam nods, chagrined. Parmesan Gordon brushes past Nonny.)

Parmesan: Out of my way, Pirruccello. (to Mr. Grouper) So! You've returned!

Mr. Grouper: Yes. When the governors heard that Arthur Gordon's daughter had been taken into the Chamber, they saw fit to summon me back. (a wry smile) Curiously, several of them seemed under the impression that you would curse their families if they didn't agree to suspend me in the first place, Parmesan.

Parmesan: From the beginning, my only concern has been the welfare of this school and its students. I assume the culprit has been identified.

Mr. Grouper: Oh yes. It was Rotten Tomato. Only this time, he chose to act through someone else. By means of... this.

(As Mr. Grouper nudges the diary toward Parmesan Gordon, Nonny sees Clam nod meaningfully from the diary to Parmesan.)

Mr. Grouper: Fortunately, our young Mr. Pirruccello discovered it. (a chill to his voice) One only hopes that no more of Rotten Tomato's old school things find their way into innocent hands. The consequences for the one responsible could be... severe.

(Parmesan Gordon stares icily at Mr. Grouper, then turns away.)

Parmesan: Come, Clam. We're leaving.

(As Clam scuttles toward the door, Parmesan Gordon kicks him through it, then exits himself. Nonny stares at the empty doorway as Clam's painful squeals echo from the corridor.)

Nonny: Sir? I wonder if I could have that.

(Mr. Grouper looks up, follows Nonny's eyes to the diary. As the elevator opens, Nonny dashes out.)

Nonny: Mr. Gordon! I have something of yours.

(Nonny comes up running, thrusts the diary into Parmesan's hand.)

Parmesan: Mine? I don't know what you're talking about.

Nonny: I think you do, sir. I think you slipped it into Oona Gordon's cauldron that day in Diagon Alley.

(Parmesan shoves the diary into Clam's face, then leans close to Nonny and, with a nasty grin, whispers:)

Parmesan: Prove it!

(He turns away. As Clam looks sadly back, clutching the diary in his hand, Nonny mouths the words: Open it. Clam looks down curiously. Inside... is a sock. He gasps.)

Parmesan: Clam! Clam, come!

Clam: (in wonderment) Master has given Clam a sock. Master has presented Clam with clothes. Clam is... free!

Parmesan: What? I didn't --

(He wheels, sees Nonny standing with one leg crossed: His right ankle is bare. Instantly, Parmesan charges forth.)

Parmesan: You've lost me my servant!

Clam: You shall not harm Nonny Pirruccello!

(Clam steps between and -- Bang! Parmesan flies backwards, lands in a crumpled heap. Rising, he stares murderously at Nonny.)

Parmesan: Mark my words, Nonny Pirruccello. You'll meet the same sticky end as your parents one of these days. They were meddlesome fools too.

(With that, he turns, storms off.)

Clam: Nonny Pirruccello freed Clam! How can Clam ever repay him?

Nonny: Just promise me something.

Clam: Anything, sir.

Nonny: Never try to save my life again.

(Clam grins and -- Crack! -- is gone.)

(Scene: Great Hall)

(Fear and suspicion banished, the House tables abuzz with excitement and anticipation... all except the Slytherins, who do not share the general feeling. Seated at the tables, are the formerly petrified, revived students. Tito Wahler joins his fellow Hufflepuffs. Edmond Mitchell snaps photos of the proceedings. At the rear of the hall, standing near the entrance, the Marching Bandit is reunited with Bubble Kitty. Then... Molly enters, searching the room for Nonny and Gil. Finally, she sees them. Smiles. Runs forward and embraces Nonny.)

Molly: You solved it! You solved it!

Nonny: With loads of help from you.

(She turns to embrace Gil. They pause, an awkward moment between them and... shake hands instead.)

Gil: Welcome back, Molly.

(Mrs. Grouper taps her goblet. Mr. Grouper stands.)

Mr. Grouper: Before we begin our feast, let's give a round of applause to the Snail and the Nurse, whose Mandrake Juice has been successfully administered to all those who had been petrified.

(Everyone applauds.)

Mr. Grouper: Also, in the wake of recent events, as a school treat, all exams have been cancelled.

(Everyone cheers, save for Molly.)

Molly: Oh, no!

(At the rear of the Hall, the great doors open. It's Mr. Langoustine. He enters. Stops. Looks around. The room falls silent. All eyes upon him. He glances around. Nervous. Embarrassed.)

Mr. Langoustine: Sorry I'm late. The owl deliverin' my release papers got all lost 'n confused. Some ruddy bird named Errol.

(Gil exchanges a nervous glance with Mr. Grouper. Mr. Langoustine looks at all of the faces staring at him. He turns to Nonny.)

Mr. Langoustine: I jus' want to say... that if it wasn't fer' you, Nonny... you an' Gil... and Molly... Well, I jus' want to say... Thanks.

Nonny: There's no Bubblewarts without you, Mr. Langoustine.

(Just then... Mr. Grouper gets to his feet and... slowly... brings his hands together. The others join him. Soon, everyone is on their feet and he Hall roaring. As the students surround Mr. Langoustine, he blinks, and wipes at his eyes.)

The End!