Episode 310.f Bubble Guppies: Gil Gordon and the Chocolate Factory (Part 6)

Plot
Adolescent Nonny Pirruccello is a good, hard working boy. His washerwoman mother is barely able to eke out a living to support Nonny and Nonny's bedridden grandparents Mrs. Grouper, Mr. Grouper, Ms. Peakytoe, and Mr. Langoustine, the latter to whom Nonny has a special bond. They live in the town where the mysterious, reclusive and genius Gil Gordon runs his chocolate factory. Gil has not been seen in years as he closed his factory to public access after his competitors, most specifically Mr. Grumpfish, infiltrated the factory to steal his candy secrets. However, Gil is once again opening his factory, but only to five people and a guest apiece, each who will be given a lifetime supply of chocolate. Those five will be those that find one of the five golden tickets hidden inside Gil chocolate bars. Although Nonny's chances of getting a golden ticket are remote at best - especially against a glutton, a spoiled peanut heiress, a gum fanatic and a television fanatic - Nonny wants it more than anyone else and is the small dream which is keeping his spirit alive. Those that eventually get the golden tickets will be exposed to all of Gil's magical secrets, the latest rumored to be that of the everlasting gobstopper, a candy that never gets smaller. But they will also be treated to an experience that some will hopefully learn from. And one will learn the real reason for Gil providing access to the factory. But if five are allowed access, others may also try to gain access, such as a devious Mr. Grumpfish, who will be ruined if the gobstopper hits the markets before he finds out its secret.

Cast (Characters from the real movie)

 * Gil as (Willy Wonka)
 * Mr. Langoustineas (Grandpa Joe)
 * Nonny as (Charlie)
 * Mr. Wahler as (Mr. Salt)
 * Deema as (Veruca Salt)
 * Mr. Shaskan as (Mr. Beauregarde)
 * Oona as (Violet Beauregarde)
 * Mrs. Imani as (Mrs. Teevee)
 * Goby as (Mike Teevee)
 * Mrs. Gordon as (Mrs. Gloop)
 * Tobias as (Augustus Gloop)
 * Mrs. Pirruccello as (Mrs. Bucket)
 * Marty Snailer as (Bill)
 * Mr. Lakespear as (Mr. Turkentine)
 * Molly as (Madeline Durkin)
 * Mr. Grumpfish as (Mr. Slugworth)
 * Starfish as (Oompa Loompas)
 * Crabs, Lobsters, Snails as (Other characters)

Information

 * Genres: Family, Fantasy, Musical
 * Rating: G for a little nudity, a little violence, a little smoking, and some scary scenes
 * Type of film: Musical

​Trivia

 * This is based on the 1971 movie "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." You can read about it on Wikipedia or IMDb
 * This story has some fanon characters and some main characters.

Story
Start of Part 6.

(Scene: The Geese Room)

Gil: I know what you're thinking: They can't be doing what they're doing. But they are. They have to. I haven't met the Starfish yet who could do it. These are the geese that lay the golden eggs. As you can see, they're larger than ordinary geese. As a matter of fact, tgey're quadruple size geese which produce octuple size eggs. They're laying overtime right now for Easter.

Goby: But Easter's over!

Gil: Ssshhh. ..

(Gil covers Goby's mouth.)

Gil: They don't know that. I'm trying to get ahead for next year.

Mr. Wahler: What happens if they drop one of those eggs, Gil?

Gil: An omelet fit for a king, sir.

Deema: Are they chocolate eggs?

Gil: Golden chocolate eggs. That's a great delicacy. But I wouldn't get too close. The geese are very temperamental. That's why we have the Eggdicator.

Mrs. Imani: Eggdi-what?

Gil: The Eggdicator. The Eggdicator can tell the difference between a good egg and a bad egg. If it's a good egg, it's shined up and shipped out all over the world. But if it's a bad egg. . . down the chute.

Mr. Langoustine: It's an educated Eggdicator.

Mr. Wahler: It's a lot of nonsense.

Gil: (singing) A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

Deema: Hey, Daddy, I want a golden goose.

Nonny: Here we go again.

Mr. Wahler: All right, sweetheart, all right. Daddy'll get you a golden goose as soon as we get home.

Deema: No, I want one of those!

Mr. Wahler: Gil, how much do you want for the golden goose?

Gil: They're not for sale.

Mr. Wahler: Name your price.

Gil: She can't have one.

Deema: Who says I can't?

Mr. Wahler: The man with the funny hat.

Deema: I want one! I want a golden goose! Gooses, geeses, I want my geese to lay gold eggs for Easter.

Mr. Wahler: It will, sweetheart.

Deema: At least a hundred a day.

Mr. Wahler: Anything you say.

Deema: And by the way. ..

Mr. Wahler: What.

Deema: I want a feast!

Mr. Wahler: You ate before you came to the factory.

Deema: I want a bean feast!

Mr. Wahler: Huh, one of those.

Deema: Cream buns and donuts and fruitcake with no nuts! So good you could go nuts!

Mr. Wahler: You can have all those things when we get home.

Deema: No, now! I want a ball! I want a party! Pink macaroons and a million balloons! And performing baboons and-- give it to me!

Mr. Wahler: Later.

(Deema elbows Mr. Wahler in the stomach.)

Deema: Now! I want the world! I want the whole world! I want to lock it all up in my pocket! It's my bar of chocolate! Give it to me now! I want today! I want tomorrow! I want to wear 'em like braids in my hair! And I don't want to share 'em! I want a party with roomfuls of laughter! Ten thousand tons of ice cream! And if I don't get the things I am after! I'm going to scream! I want the works! I want the whole works! Presents and prizes and sweets and surprises! Of all shapes and sizes and now! Don't care how! I want it now! Don't care how! I want it noooooooooooooooooooow!

(Deema, deemed a Bad Egg by the Eggdicator, falls down the chute.)

Gil: She was a bad egg.

Mr. Wahler: Um. . . where's she gone?

Gil: Where all the other bad eggs go: down the garbage chute.

(Mr. Wahler laughs.)

Mr. Wahler: The garbage chute. Where does it lead to?

Gil: To the furnace.

(Mr. Wahler laughs heartily.)

Mr. Wahler: To the furnace. She'll be sizzled like a sausage.

Gil: Well not necessarily. She could be stuck just inside the tube.

Mr. Wahler: Inside the. . .? Hold on! Deema, sweetheart, Daddy's coming!

(Mr. Wahler jumps down the Eggdicator chute.)

Gil: There's gonna be a lot of garbage today.

Mr. Langoustine: Well, Mr. Wahler finally got what he wanted.

Nonny: What's that?

Mr. Langoustine: Deema went first.

Nonny: Gil, they won't really be burned in the furnace, will they?

Gil: Hmmm. . . well, I think that furnace is lit only every other day, so they have a good sporting chance, haven't they.

Starfish: Deema Wahler, the little brute, has just gone down the garbage chute, (and as we very rightly thought. That in a case like this we ought. To see the thing completely through, we've polished off her parents, too.) Down goes Deema! Down the drain! And here, perhaps, we should explain. That she will meet, as she descends, a rather different set of friends. To those that she has left behind- these won't be nearly so refined. A fish head, for example, cut. This morning from a halibut. 'Hello! Good morning! How'd you do? How nice to meet you! How are you?' And then a little further down. A mass of others gather round: a bacon rind, some rancid lard, a loaf of bread gone stale and hard, a steak that nobody could chew, an oyster from an oyster stew, some liverwurst so old and gray. One smelled it from a mile away, a rotten nut, a reeky pear, a thing the cat left on the stair, and lots of other things as well, each with a rather horrid smell. These are Deema's new found friends. That she will meet as she descends, and this is the price she has to pay. For going so very far astray. But now, my dears, we think you might. Be wondering-is it really right? That every single bit of blame. And all the scolding and the shame. Should fall upon Deema Wahler? Is she the only one at fault? For though she's spoiled, and dreadfully so, a girl can't spoil herself, you know. Who spoiled her, then? Ah, who indeed? Who pandered to her every need? Who turned her into such a brat? Who are the culprits? Who did that? Alas! You needen't look so far. To find out who these sinners are. They are (and this is vey sad.) Her loving parents, MUM and DAD. And that is why we're glad they fell. Into the garbage chute as well.

Gil: I don't understand it. The children are disappearing like rabbits. Well, we still have each other. Shall we press on?

Mrs. Imani: Gil, can't we sit down for a minute? The pace is killing me.

Gil: My dear lady, transportation has already been arranged.

(Scene: Gilmobile Room)

(Starfish fill the Gilmobile with soda.)

Gil: Behold the Gilmobile. A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Places, please, the dance is about to begin. Better grab a seat, they're going fast.

Mr. Langoustine: Gil, what's that they're filling it up with?

Gil: Oh, ginger ale, ginger pop, ginger beer, beer bubbles, bubble-ade, bubble cola, double cola, double bubble burp-a-cola, and all the crazy carbonated stuff that tickles your nose. Few people realize what tremendous power there is in one of those things.

Mr. Langoustine: Sorry I asked.

Goby: You think Mr. Grumpfish would pay extra to know about this?

Mrs. Imani: Just keep your eyes open and your mouth shut.

Gil: Everybody set?

Nonny: Is this gonna go fast, Grandpa?

Mr. Langoustine: It should, Nonny. It's got more gas in it than a politician.

Gil: Now hold on tight. I'm gonna really open her up this time and see what she can do. Swifter than eagles. . . stronger than lions. ..

(Bubble suds begin to spray out at everyone.)

Goby and Mrs. Imani: Ohhhhhhhh!

Gil: Must be a leak in the distilling tubes.

Nonny: Grandpa!

Mr. Langoustine: I'm getting it too!

Gil: Martha! Martha! Du entschwandest!

Goby: It's getting in my eye!

Gil: (continuous) Ah, mein gluck nahmst du mit dir!

Mrs. Imani: Oh, it's even in my shoes! I'm soaked! It'll never come out!

Goby: It's sticking to my gun.

Gil: (continuous) Geht es hin wo du entschwandest! Oder teile es mit mir.

Mrs. Imani: Oh, my dress, my hair, my face! Ohhhhhh. . . I'm sending you the cleaning bill, Gil!

(They go through the Hsawlig.)

Mrs. Imani: I'm dry cleaned!

Nonny: Hey, Grandpa, what was that we just went through?

Gil: Hsawlig.

Mrs. Imani: Is that Japanese?

Gil: No, that's "Gilwash" spelled backwards. That's it, ladies and gentlemen. The journey is over.

Mr. Langoustine: Finest bath I've had in twenty years.

Nonny: Let's do it again, Gil.

Mrs. Imani: You mean that's as far as it goes?

Goby: Couldn't we have walked?

Gil: If the Good Lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller skates. Now would you all please put these on.

(They take white coats and goggles.)

Gil: We have to be very careful. There's dangerous stuff inside.

(Scene: Gilvision Room)

Gil: Gilvision: my very latest and greatest invention.

Goby: It's television.

Gil: Uh, it's Gilvision. Now I suppose you all know how ordinary television works. You photograph something and--

Goby: Sure, I do. You photograph something, and then the photograph is split into millions of tiny pieces, and they go whizzing through the air down to your TV set where they're all put together again in the right order.

Gil: You should open your mouth a little wider when you speak. So I said to myself, "If they can do it with a photograph, why can't I do it with a bar of chocolate?" I shall now send this chocolate bar from one end of the room to the other. It has to be big because whenever you transmit something by television, it always ends up smaller on the other end. Goggles on, please. Lights, camera, action!

(Mrs. Imani screams.)

Gil: You can remove your goggles.

Nonny: Where's the chocolate?

Gil: It's flying over our heads in a million pieces. Now watch the screen. Here it comes. There it is. Take it.

Goby: How can you take it? It's just a picture.

Gil: All right, you take it.

Nonny: It's real.

Gil: Taste it; it's delicious. It's just gotten smaller, that's all.

Nonny: It's perfect.

Mrs. Imani: It's unbelievable.

Mr. Langoustine: It's a miracle.

Goby: It's a TV dinner.

Gil: It's Gilvision.

Mr. Langoustine: It could change the world.

Goby: Gil, can you send other things? Not just chocolate, I mean.

Gil: Anything you like.

Goby: What about. . . people?

Gil: People? Hmmm. . . I don't really know. I suppose I could. Yes, I'm sure I could. I'm pretty sure I could. But it might have some messy results.

Goby: Look at me; I'm gonna be the first person in the world to be sent by television!

Mrs. Imani: Goby, get away from that thing!

Gil: Stop, don't, come back. ..

Goby: Lights, camera, action!

Mrs. Imani: Goby! Where are you?

Mr. Langoustine: He's up there, in a million pieces!

Mrs. Imani: Goby! Are you there?

Gil: No good shouting here. Watch the screen.

Mrs. Imani: Goby? Why's he taking so long?

Nonny: Million pieces take a long time to put together.

Mrs. Imani: Oh, where are they?

Gil: There's definitely something coming through.

Mrs. Imani: Is it Goby?

Gil: Well it's hard to tell, but I--

(Mrs. Imani wails at the sight of Goby, now shrunk.)

Mrs. Imani: Ooooooooh ho-hoooooh!

Mr. Langoustine: Our little group is getting smaller by the minute.

Goby: Look at me, everybody; I'm the first person in the world to be sent by television. Wow, what a wild trip that was. It's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Am I coming in clear? Hey, Mom, I said, "Am I coming in clear?"

Gil: Great. He's completely unharmed.

Mrs. Imani: You call that unharmed?

Goby: Wow, that was something. Can I do it again?

Mrs. Imani: No, there'll be nothing left.

Goby: Don't worry about a thing, Mom; I feel fine. I'm famous. I'm a TV star. Wait 'til the kids back home hear about this.

Mrs. Imani: Nobody's gonna hear about this.

Goby: Where are you taking me? I don't want to go in there!

(Mrs. Imani puts Goby in her purse.)

Goby (in the purse): Hey, let me out! It's dark in here.

Mrs. Imani: Be quiet. (to Gil) Well. ..

Goby (in the purse): Come on, Mom, I want to be on TV.

Gil: Well, fortunately small boys are extremely springy and elastic,. ..

Goby (in the purse): Let me out, Mom, or I'll gnaw my way out.

Gil: (continuous). . . so I think we'll put him in my special taffy-pulling machine. That should do the trick.

Goby (in the purse): I'm warning you, Mom, there's a nail file in here. ..

Mrs. Imani: Taffy. ..

Gil: (to a Starfish) To the taffy-pulling room. You'll find the boy in his mother's purse. But be extremely careful.

Goby (in the purse): If you don't let me out, I'll smear your lipstick all over everything.

(Mrs. Imani loses the word.)

Mrs. Imani: T-t-taffy pull--

(The Starfish whispers to Gil Gordon.)

Mrs. Imani: Oh, what's he saying?

(Goby continues to protest.)

Gil: (to the Starfish) No, no, I won't hold you responsible.

(Mrs. Imani faints backwards into Mr. Langoustine's arms.)

Gil: And now, my dearest lady, it's time to say goodbye.

(Mrs. Imani emits a noise.)

Gil: No, no, don't speak. For some moments in life there are no words. Run along now.

(The Starfish drag Mrs. Imani out.)

Gil: Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow.

Starfish: The most important thing we've learned, so far as children are concerned, is never, NEVER, NEVER let. Them near your television set- or better still, just don't install. The idiotic thing at all. In almost every house we've been, we've watched them gaping at the screen. They loll and slop and lounge about, and stare until their eyes pop out. (Last week in someone's place we saw. A dozen eyeballs on the floor.) They sit and stare and stare and sit. Until they're hypnotised by it, until they're absolutely drunk. With all the shocking ghastly junk. Oh yes, we know it keeps them still, they don't climb out the window sill, they never fight or kick or punch, they leave you free to cook the lunch. And wash the dishes in the sink- but did you ever stop to think, to wonder just exactly what? This does to your beloved tot? IT ROT SENSES IN THE HEAD! IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD! IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND! IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND! HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND! A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND! HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE! HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE! HE CANNOT THINK-HE ONLY SEES! 'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say, 'but if we take the set away, what shall we do to entertain? Our darling children? Please explain!' We'll answer this by asking you, 'What used the darling ones to do? 'How used they keep themselves contented? Before this monster was invented?' Have you forgotten? Don't you know? We'll say it very loud and slow: THEY... USED... TO... READ! They'd READ and READ, AND READ and READ, and then proceed. To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks! One half their lives was reading books! The nursery shelves held books galore! Books cluttered up the nursery floor! And in the bedroom, by the bed, more books were waiting to be read! Such wondrous, fine, fantastic takes. Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales. And treasure isles, and distant shores. Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars, and pirates wearing purple pants, and sailing ships and elephants, and cannibals crouching 'round the pot, stirring away at something hot. (It smells so good, what can it be? Good gracious, it's Penelope.) The younger ones had Beatrix Potter! With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter, and Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland, and Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and- Just How The Camel Got His Hump, And How The Monkey Lost His Rump, And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul, there's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole- oh, books, what books they used to know, those children living long ago! So please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install. A lovely bookshelf on the wall. Then fill the shelves with lots of books, ignoring all the dirty looks, the screams and yells, the bites and kicks, and children hitting you with sticks- fear not, because we promise you. That, in about a week or two. Of having nothing else to do, they'll now begin to feel the need. Of having something good to read. And once they start-oh boy, oh boy! You watch the slowly growing joy. That fills their hears. They'll grow so keen! They'll wonder what they'd ever seen! In that ridiculous machine, that nauseating, foul, unclean, repulsive television screen! And later, each and every kid. Will love you more for what you did. P.S. Regarding Goby Imani, we very much regret that we. Shall simply have to wait and see. If we can get him back his height. But if we can't-it serves him right.

(Scene: Outside Gil Gordon's Office)

Gil: So much to do, so much to do, invoices and bills, letters. . . I must answer that note from the queen.

Nonny: Gil, what's gonna happen to the other kids? Tobias, Deema?

Gil: My dear boy, I promise you they'll be quite all right. When they leave here, they'll be completely restored to their normal, terrible old selves. But maybe they'll be a little bit wiser for the wear. Anyway, don't worry about them.

Mr. Langoustine: Eh, what do we do now, Gil?

Gil: Oh, yes, well, I hope you enjoyed yourselves. Excuse me for not showing you out. Straight up the stairs. You'll find the way. I'm terribly busy. Whole day wasted. Goodbye to you both. Goodbye.

(Gil enters his office.)

Nonny: What happened? Did we do something wrong?

Mr. Langoustine: I don't know, Nonny. But I'm gonna find out.

(Nonny and Mr. Langoustine enter the office.)

(Scene: Gil Gordon's Office)

(Everything is cut in half.)

Mr. Langoustine: Gil?

Gil: I am extraordinarily busy, sir.

Mr. Langoustine: I just wanted to ask about the chocolate. The lifetime supply of chocolate, for Nonny. When does he get it?

Gil: He doesn't.

Mr. Langoustine: Why not?

Gil: Because he broke the rules.

Mr. Langoustine: What rules? We didn't see any rules, did we, Nonny?

Gil: Wrong, sir, wrong! Under Section Thirty-Seven B of the contract signed by him it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if--and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy: "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained, et cetera, et cetera . . . fax mentis incendium gloria culpum, et cetera, et cetera . . . memo bis punitor delicatum!" It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole Fizzy Lifting Drinks. You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!

Mr. Langoustine: You're a crook! You're a cheat and a swindler! That's what you are. How can you do a thing like this? Build up a little boy's hopes and then smash all his dreams to pieces. You're an inhuman monster!

Gil: I said Good Day!

Mr. Langoustine: Come on, Nonny, let's get out of here. I'll get even with him if it's the last thing I ever do. If Mr. Grumpfish wants a Gobstopper, he'll get one.

(There is a long pause. Nonny slowly walks to Gil.)

Nonny: Gil. ..

(Nonny leaves the Gobstopper on Gil Gordon's desk.)

Gil: So shines a good deed in a weary world. Nonny. . . my boy. . . You won! You did it! You did it! I knew you would; I just knew you would. Oh, Nonny, forgive me for putting you through this. Please, forgive me. Come in, Mr. Happyfish. Nonny, meet Mr. Happyfish.

(Mr. Happyfish--formely known as Mr. Grumpfish--enters.)

Mr. Happyfish: Pleasure.

Nonny: Mr. Grumpfish!

Gil: No, no, that's not Mr. Grumpfish. He works for me.

Nonny: For you?

Gil: I had to test you, Nonny. And you passed the test. You won!

Mr. Langoustine: Won what?

Gil: The jackpot, my dear sir, the grand and glorious jackpot.

Nonny: The chocolate?

Gil: The chocolate, yes, the chocolate, but that's just the beginning. We have to get on, we have to get on; we have so much time, and so little to do. Strike that. Reverse it. This way please. We'll take the Gilvator. Step in, Nonny. Grandpa Langoustine, sir.

(Scene: Gilvator)

Gil: This is the Great Glass Gilvator.

Mr. Langoustine: It's an elevator.

Gil: It's a Gilvator. An elevator can only go up and down, but the Gilvator can go sideways and slantways and longways and backways. ..

Nonny: And frontways?

Gil:. . . and squareways and frontways and any other ways that you can think of. It can take you to any room in the whole factory just by pressing one of these buttons. Any of these buttons. Just press a button and ZING! You're off. And up until now I've pressed them all. . . except one. This one. Go ahead, Nonny.

Nonny: Me?

(Nonny pushes the button.)

Gil: There it goes. Hold on tight. I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen. Faster, faster. . . If we don't pick up enough speed, we'll never get through.

Nonny: Get through what?

Gil: Ah-ha!

Mr. Langoustine: You mean we're going. . .?

Gil: Up and out!

Mr. Langoustine: But this roof is made of glass. It'll shatter into a thousand pieces. We'll be cut to ribbons!

Gil: Probably. Hold on, everybody. Here it comes.

(Scene: Sky)

(The Gilvator crashes through the roof and flies into the sky.)

Mr. Langoustine: You did it, Gil, congratulations!

Gil: Get up. Take a look.

Nonny: Grandpa, our town looks so pretty from up here.

Mr. Langoustine: Yeah, look over here, Nonny. I think I see our house.

Nonny: Wow.

Mr. Langoustine: It really looks beautiful.

Nonny: There's my school, Grandpa.

Gil: How did you like the chocolate factory, Nonny?

Nonny: I think it's the most wonderful place in the whole world.

Gil: I'm very pleased to hear you say that because I'm giving it to you. That's all right, isn't it?

Mr. Langoustine: You're giving Nonny the--?

Gil: I can't go on forever, and I don't really want to try. So, who can I trust to run the factory when I leave and take care of the Starfish for me? Not a grownup. A grownup would want to do everything his own way, not mine. That's why I decided a long time ago I had to find a child. A very honest, loving child to whom I can tell all my most precious candy making secrets.

Nonny: And that's why you sent out the Golden Tickets.

Gil: That's right. So the factory's yours, Nonny; you can move in immediately.

Mr. Langoustine: And me?

Gil: Absolutely.

Nonny: What happens to the rest of--

Gil: The whole family. I want you to bring them all.

(Nonny hugs Gil.)

Gil: But Nonny. . . don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.

Nonny: What happened?

Gil: He lived happily ever after.

(Nonny hugs Gil again. The Gilvator flies higher into the sky and disappears into the clouds.)

The End!