Mr Grouper: "So fix it. Good night."(left the shop)

Gil:(to Blue Monster)"Blue,I don't know what else I can do for you. Are you sick,little monster,or are you just playing stubborn? What is it you want? What is it you need?"

(Song: Bark For Me)

Gil: "I've given you sunshine. I've given you dog food. You've given me nothing but heartache and hurt! I'm begging you sweetly. I'm down on my knees. Oh please,bark for me! I've given you cat food and water to sip. I've given you chew toys. You've given me zip! Oh man,how I missed you. Oh man,how you tease. Now please,bark for me! I've given you Southern Exposure to get you to thrive. I've pinched you back hard,like I'm supposed to. You're barely alive. I've tried you at levels of nutrients from healthy to sick! I've given you fruit and vegetables too. What do you want from me,sweets?"(takes out a bag of chocolate chips,spoken)"Darn you,chocolate chips. Darn you!"

He eats some of the chocolate chips when he felt Blue Monster tapping on his tail. Gil gets closer to it and it tries to bite him.

Gil: "I've given you dairy. I've given you fish. Looks like you're not happy. Less I give you some sweets. I'll give you a few drops. If that'll appease. Now please...oh,oh,oh,please...bark for me..."

Once Gil went upstairs,Blue Monster grabs orange dye and drops a few of the liquid on its white hair,turning its hair orange and remains the same style.

The scene cuts to what looks like an office.

Radio: "W-S-K-I-D. Skid Row radio. You're listening to radio station SWKID, home of the hits. In just a few minutes we'll bring you Wink Wilkensen's Weird World...where people bring in their weird things. But first, the weather.

Weather Reader: "Thank you. The weather today will be partly cloudy with a chance of rain. Sorry. The high temperature will br in the lows tonight..."

Gil: "Excuse me. I was told to come--"

Radio Executive: "You're next."

As the following is being read, the little monster tries to struggle from Gil's grip. Gil looks around and only just catches the monster, before it is too late.

Weather Reader: "High tomorrow should be in the lows woth the low in the highs. In the suburbs, the sun should be out through most of the day...except for some cloudy patches towards the evening. The barometer reading should be...the wind will be about...I'd say miles per hour. The sun will be rising at 7 a.m..and it should be setting around 6 p.m. The cold front is moving in from the southwest. It should br brighten up by noon. The weekend should be mild. The average mean temperature for the season...

Announcer: "You're listening to radio station WSKID. And now, Wink Wilkensen's Weird World, with your host, Wink Wilkensen."

Wink: "Hi! It's Weird Wink Wilkensen, laughin' and scratchin' at ya. I got a bit of a stiff neck. Let me just fix this up...that feels a lot better! I got a great show for you today with dome wonderful weird stuff! What are you doing here? Please,put your clothes back on! You can't do this to me! What if your husband were to walk in? I'm here, Wink. I love your show...but I've got to catch you both with my snare trap. You got me! I feel so very weird! Our first guest is a young probably read about in the newspapers by the name of...Gil Gordon. Is that correct? Who had discovered a new creature unknown on this planet. Let me play you down to your seat, Gil." (plays gag music) "Hello, Gil!"

Gil: "Hello,Wink."

Wink: "I wish you folks at home could see this. Gil, where did you get such a weird animal?"

Gil: "Well, you remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago?"

Girls (sing): "Da-Doo!"

Lights go down on Gil and brighten on the radio and its listeners, who come to life.

Wink: "And thus we conclude our interview with the young creature-- mind if I call you a genius?

Gil: "Gosh,no!"

Wink: "The genius who has discovered this amazing, unidentified animal.

Gil: "I'd like to remind our listeners that the Blue Monster is on display...exclusively at Mr Grouper's Skid Row Pet Shop." (they talk over each other)

Crystal: "Well, look who's here."

Molly: "Hi Crystal, hi Ronette, hi Chiffon. Am I late? Did I miss it?"

Ronette: "Sure are."

Chiffon: "And sure did."

Molly: "Gil's first radio broadcast. I wanted to cheer him on. I tried to be on time, but--"

Crystal: "Don't tell me."

Girls: "You got tied up."

Molly: "No, just handcuffed, a little."

Crystal: "Girl. Hey girl. The mess you hang out with is hazardous to your health."

Molly: "That's for sure. But I can't leave him."

Crystal: "Why not?"

Molly: "He'd get angry. If he does this when he likes me, imagine what he'd do if he ever go mad."

Crystal: "So dump the chump. Get a guy who'll protect you."

Chiffon: "And we got one all picked out."

Molly: "How about that blue head kid?"

Crystal: "Gil?"

Ronette: "Oh,we're just friends."

Molly: "I don't deserve a sweet, considerate...suddenly successful like Gil." (enters her house)

Ronette: "That poor child suffers from low-self image."

Crystal: "You got a point--"

Ronette: "She got a problem."

(Molly's House)

(Song: Somewhere That's Green)

Molly: "I no sing wise the greatest. But I'm gaining a semi say I got a black eye,and my arm's in a cast...Still that Gilly's a cutie. Well,if not he's got inner beauty. And I dream of a place...where we could be together at last...A matchbox of our own. A fence...of real chan link. A grill out on the patio. Disposal in the sink. A washer and a dryer. And an ironing...machine. In a tract house that we share...somewhere that's green...he rakes and trims the grass. He mow and weed. I cook like Betty Crocker. And I look like...Donna Reed. There's plastic on the furniture. To keep it...neat and clean. In the pine sol scented air,somewhere that's green......mmmmm,somewhere that's green. Between our frozen dinner,and our bedtime...nine fifteen. We snuggle watching Lucy,on out big..enormous twelve-inch screen,ohhhh...I'm his bride. He's father...he knows best. The kids watch howdy doody,as the sun the west. A picture of our better homes,and gardens...magazine.....far from dream will go.....somewhere...that'"

(Song ends)

On the last word, Molly reaches out to a place in the distance and they all look as if they see her dream.

(Song: Closed For Renovation)

  • Gil: "We're closed for renovation 

For spiffing-up and grooming  'Cause customers are flocking  And business has been booming  We need refrigeration  In our new, improved display  So we're closed for renovation  Today."

  • Molly & Gil: "We're closed for decoration 
    'Cause fortune has been smiling 
    So now we're due for painting 
    New plumbing and re-tiling 
    We'll make a ship-shape showplace 
    Of a little shop and then 
    Tomorrow we'll be open 

We're closed for renovation 

For swabbing-down and brooming  'Cause business has been thriving  Since Blue Monster's been blooming  The phones have not stopped ringing  With the customers who say"

  • Gil: "Another bunch of peonies."
  • Molly: "Another dozen daisies please."
  • Gil: "Geranuims, anemones."
  • Molly: "Furry hamsters and scaly frogs."
  • Mr Grouper: "With gratis home deliveries."
  • All Three: "On paid-in-fulls and C.O.D.'s

​We're closed for renovation


(Song ends)

On telephone, Mr Grouper is obeying orders. There is bustle in the shop of customers. Molly is on the side arranging small pets in their cages.

Mr Grouper: "Yes, Mrs Shiva. No, Mrs Shiva. Right away, Mrs Shiva." (puts the phone down) "Did you send Mrs Shiva's order?"

Gil: "Mrs Shiva? I forget!"

Mr Grouper: "You forgot? You forgot! Do you hear this, boy? He forgot! Are you listening, customers? He forgot!"

Gil (joining with Molly): "Quick! We've got to do an emergency arrangement."

Molly: "Birthday? Wedding? Baby?"

Gil: "Surprise."

Molly: "Get me the turtles." (gestures for the turtles. Gil passes them. He hangs on her every word and does as she asks)

Gil: "Mr Grouper is real mad at me. I keep forgetting things."

Molly: "Pellets. You got a lot on your mind."

Gil: "What mind? The Shivas are our biggest surprise account. A huge family, dropping off like flies!"

Molly: "Sometimes I think Mr Grouper's too hard on you. Water."

Gil: "That's okay. I owe him everything."

Molly: "Leaves."

Gil: "He took me out of the Bubbletucky Home for boys...gave me a warm place to stay, floors to sweep, toilets to clean...and every other Sunday off."

Molly: "You know, I think you ought to raise your expectations. Now that you're getting successful, I mean. It's clear you suffer from a low self-image. It's high time you get it fixed. Why dn't you go out and do something nice for buy some new clothes?"

Gil: "I'm a very bad shopper, Molly. I don't have good taste, like you."

Molly: "I could help you pick things out."

Gil: "You could?"

Molly: "Sure."

Gil: "You'd go shopping with me?"

Molly: "Sure."

Gil: "You'd be seen with me in a public place like a department store?"

Molly: "Sure."

Gil: "Tonight?"

Molly: "I can't tonight. I got a date. But I'd like to go with you another time."

Gil: "Sure, I'll pencil you in."

Molly: "I'll bet you got lots of dates now. Huh?"

Gil: "Well not dates exactly. But alot of garden clubs have been calling, asking me to give lectures?"

Molly: "Gee!"

Gil: "Imagine me, giving lectures. I never even finished grade school."

Molly: "That doesn't matter. You got life experience."

Gil: "Some experience. I don't even know what it's like to fly in an airplane."

Molly: "Me neither."

Gil: "Or eat at a fancy dinner at a restaurant--"

Molly: "Me neither."

Gil: "Or ride a motorcycle."

Molly: "Oh, it's no big deal. And besides, it's dangerous."

Gil: "It is?"

Molly: "Extremely dangerous. Gee, I'd better go and fix my face. My date'll be here in a minute."

She exits. Gil looks after her longingly.

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