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Gil is a song from Oona the Musical. It is sung by all the children.

Characters

Lyrics

Children: He can't!

Miss Witch: Eat!

Children: He surely can't!

Miss Witch: Eat!

Children: He might explode!

Miss Witch: Eat!

Children: A single slice, or even two, Gil, might have been nice, but even you, Gil, have to admit between you and it, there's not a lot of difference in size.

Children 1: He can't!

Children 2: He can! Gil!

Children 1: He surely can't! He surely can't!

Children 2: You are the man, Gil!

Children 1: He might explode!

Children 2: He's quite elastic...

Children 1: He's going to blow. Make him stop!

Children 2: He's fantastic! Look at him go!

Children 1: I can't watch!

Children: I think in effect, this must confirm, Gil, what we all suspected. You have a worm, Gil! Or maybe your largeness is like the TARDIS: Considerably roomier inside.

Children 1: He can't!

Children 2: He can!

Children 1: He surely can't! He surely can't!

Children 2: You are the man, Gil!

Children: G-I-I-I-L! Gil! You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. She'll call a truce, Gil. With every swallow, you are tightening the noose. We never thought it was possible, but here it is, coming true: We can have our cake and it it too! The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use. No excuse, Gil. Let out your belt. I think you'll want your trousers loose. Oh – Stuff it in. (Gil!) You're almost finished. (Gil!) You'll fit it in. Whatever you do, just don't give in. Don't let her win. Come on, Gil, be our hero. Cover yourself in chocolate glory!

Gil: It's too much! It's just too much!

Oona: Go on, Gil. Do it.

Miss Witch: Silence!

Children: Oh – Gil! You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. She'll call a truce, Gil. Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. We never thought it was possible, but here it is, coming true: We can have our cake and eat it – Ah-ah-aah-ah! Ah-ah-aah-ah! Ah-ah-aah-ah! Ah-ah-aah-ah!

Children and Mrs. Grouper: Ah!

Mrs. Grouper: Go on, Gilly!

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